O True Ones

                                                      O True Ones

    

O' true ones, thy ears please lend,

Unto thy way,some thoughts I'll send.

Thoughts that are comprehended by few,

Perturbing they are, and may jolt you.

Thoughts, that thoughts shall instigate,

And will make thou ponder, upon thy state.

O' true ones,on earth, in this age,

Realize that thou art trapped in a cage.

Each one, yet , is lured to be there,

Peace and contentment are trampled where!

'Tis a sea of falsehood, where odium prevails,

And in it, the ship of hypocrisy sails.

And listen true ones, thy truth has weight,

So thou shalt drown, if its too late.

The truthful island is not nigh,

Hither or thither, where does it lie?

O' true ones, 'tis a dark night,

No star does shine; there is dearth of light.

Suffering is thy jewel; it doesn't tend to end,

Tolerance is thy shield, and silence, thy friend.

With these comrades, thou observe pals fake,

Who, to get into a herd, any form can take.

Wandering thou find that few seem pure,

These wounds, O' Lord, who shall cure?

There is paucity of serenity and concern,

For them, who knows, what it does earn.

O' true ones, this but, is not a curse,

Thy patience is judged in times adverse.

Act with endurance, in thy land,

If someone offers thou a helping hand.

And those who offer, shall shine with thee,

When the sun will rise and light will be!

With the All Pervasive Truth You shall merge,

All thirsts shall be quenched and there'll be no urge!

Reviews

[Kuandio]

Interesting beginning, makes you wonder who is talking, sounds like God. I liked the line “in this age, Realize that thou art trapped in a cage”, “ship of hypocrisy sails”. The second to last stanza seemed it could use a little work perhaps. Just getting one point across effectively can sometimes be more than many points. It’s a good poem for me, I feel like I’ve been going through the dark night of the soul for a long time, but I’m glad it ended on a note of hope

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thank you Kuandio for thy helpful review :-)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

This is different from the other pieces I have read so far and this is refreshing. I love the positivity at the end. The style is commendable. Good write. :)

[Inda]

Hope wiggled through in the end! Fantastic piece!

[Mockingbird]

these are words of wisdom. it's sad how hypocrisy prevails. however there is hope at the end of your poem. great job.

[sivan]

i like this one... very old fashioned so often harder to understand but keeps the mind active and doesnt lose the reader... love this line, truth lies in these words
"Tolerance is thy shield, and silence, thy friend."

[Abdul Aziz]

Rhyming couplets are always difficult to pull off without sounding childish, but you've accomplished it to a large extent here. I like the way you build up your poem and deliver an uplifting message at the end. There are a few occasions where I feel the end rhymes can be improved, but that is a minor gripe. Well written!

[Gurdeep...The Lost]

Thanks Aziz)