afraid

Siva has always dealt with life alone and has always wondered why. She is trying to understand why she is so afraid of being left alone, when everything she was done has been by herself.

Siva-He didn't  call today I waited. I'm afraid... I'm afraid he is like the rest.

Therapist Reba-The rest? who is the rest?

Siva- everyone there is no particular person, I have always had to deal with things on my on.

Therapist- Tell me the things you had to deal with alone

Siva- growing up, trying to figure how love is suppose to feel, learning how to stand up for myself.

Therapist- Where were your parents through those times.

Siva- my father was busy having affairs my mother was being submissive and accepting deception from a man who didn't love her.

Therapist- Explain the relationship you have with your father.

Siva- its a little distant but I love him I was always a daddy girl as I got older the distance has gotten stronger. He lived with me till I was 18 years old. my parents divorced wen I was 5. He made sure I had a father figure in my life and waited till he felt I was ready to deal with things on my own.

Therapist- But was he really there?

Siva- what do you mean by was he really there?

Therapist- He could of been there physically but was he there emotionally?

Siva- No he wasn't but my..my family never was very expressive with there love or emotions.

Therapist- Has that been something you have been searching for since you could not get it at home?

Siva- What? emotion?

Therapist-Yes  a certain type of emotion....

Siva- Which one

Therapist- Love 

...... to be continued