Stop

a short story that came to me

  As time came to a stop, it’s when the cries of the angles could be heard, when the person you love is about to die right in front of you. You wish that it never moves forward, that it could all go back, but the impossible is still impossible. The tragedy cannot be undone. You look back before you see her face full of fear, of terror, and you pray that it was you instead, no, you desire it to be you because the simple fact that you deserve death and not her. I take you to look back to the beginning when you first meet, and observe on what gave you once clarity. The love that had bloomed where it shouldn’t. we see where it starts to crumble. The nights you come back drunk, the gaze of disdain she gives that you know you deserve. When she tries to help you only leads to pain, you say sorry but those words would feel empty. Broken nights that leads to broken mornings, through it all she stays. You see this and wondered why, but would never find your answer. I bring you back to see the stoppage of time once again where my hand moves towards her, but it stops before we move back again.

  The next chapter leads to the uphill struggle for redemption. The faults that have been seen by her is forgiven by her. You had taken advantage of that to put on a façade of change. You thought that this could rebuild what you shattered. You scream to me to stop this but you know I won’t. We continue to see the trickery that you play, the outside giving her false hope. She gives a warm smile that bleeds a lovely red, the warm hug that could not thaw the frozen heart of your past self. You break her healing spirits once again when you failed yourself at the game of life. Your rage blinds you as you hurt her even more, and when your eyes open again you are overcome with regret that burns your heart. As you knee in agony as you watch, the pain consumes you. You scream at your past self to leave her alone, to get out of her life, but it all goes to ears that could not carry. The past you walks away from her before she could apologies for something she did not do, because she has grown used to this routine. The torture that she endures only brings you more suffering as you watch the pain you inflict. I take you forward as we see improvement that shows her more false hope for both of your futures. you find a better job that could support you brings joy to the both of you, you hurt her less and treat her better. Again, she is given this a rise of peace. She believed that you can love her the same as she loves you. That you and her will finally have a happy ending. This give you relief on your shattering guilty heart, but then you remember what comes next.

  You start to stay late, you start to leave her alone for longer periods of time. She wonders why but you know that answer. You and a coworker had started getting more and more friendly with each other. You never mention that you already have a lover, and this leads to cheating. Your past self felt too guilty to ever tell her of this, that she could not satisfied you. You keep this on for months. To her being left alone started to hurt more than when you put your hands on her. You again scream at your past self to go back to your true love and make it right, to stop doing what you knew was wrong. you tell me that you felt no love for the women he was cheating on her with, that this was the biggest mistake you made during your awful relationship and repeat that she deserved better that what you gave to her. You broke heart, body and soul through it all, and when she finally found the truth she had enough, she could not endure anymore. It was the last straw. She left you and you felt glad that she did. You did not want to hurt her any more, and your past self now knew what he wanted, what he needed and loved after everything that he had done. This is when your past self begs for forgiveness, where you pray for redemption for everything that you had put her through. You start getting your act, you cut off the women that you have been cheating on, you stop drinking. Your past self gave it his all to get the one you love back into his life and treat her right. You pray for self-retribution, and look to god to help you. The effort that you gave finally pulls off when she agrees to meet you again. You believe that this is an act of god and over prepare for your shot to take everything back even if you know that an apology what clear all your sinful acts. You fall back crying knowing what was about to happen that day. Like the saying goes “god gives and god taketh away”. We are in the present where you and she had agreed to meet to settle you wrong acts. You pick the café that you first met at. Where you confessed your feelings for each other. You confess hoping that she forgives what you have done, you get on hands and knees like a fool, but the true fool is her. The saint that she is, shines you with clemency, you both leave hand in hand. Your happy ending was about to happen until tragedy took place. A large truck had lost control and headed straight for the both of you. She pushes you out of the was leaving only her in the way. This is where time freezes again. You ask me why I did this to you. I answer saying nothing, you scream at me for the answer that I refuse to give. I take her soul from her body so she won’t feel the impact, an act of mercy I show to few. You scream at me not to take her, begging me, but that is what death does, it takes. The only thing you could do as time started to move again was stop.