Essay 1 – Thoughts on How to Write my Autobiography

Thoughts leading into a series of Life Essays. I love to 'think on paper'

Essay 1 �" Thoughts on How to Write my Autobiography

I have for many years intended to write my autobiography!  However, a simple chronological line never allows me the freedom to express myself as I’d wish.  That anomaly seems to be due to a failure on my part to shape my non-linear life to ‘fit’ the linear requirements of a standard chronological autobiography!  Is this just the way my mind works �" shooting off at almost impossible �" seemingly unrelated - tangents?  That may well be the case; or it may simply be a true reflection of my individual reality.

 

Let me clarify �" verbal and written communications are strange affairs at the best of times.  All forms of communication have a long history �" and all have their own experts, who often disagree, on even the most basic facts.  As an example, I nominate the vexing question of when and how verbal communication began?  The development of written communication is somewhat clearer, but even then, world-wide, there are still many mysteries surrounding the development and mastery of those very human skills. 

 

Perhaps if I start with an analogy it might help explain my predicament: for example, my academic weakness is mathematics.  As much as I enjoy a numerical tussle, my actual knowledge of algebraic formula and rules is - to all intents and purposes �" that of an illiterate!   I have more than a passing interest in physics - which often requires at least a basic understanding of formulae of various types.  As soon as I see those baffling hieroglyphics, I find myself floundering like a four year old on his first day in kindergarten.  Whilst I understand a concept in its most basic form �" and will have a good stab at formally verbalizing a concept - not having the skills to reduce the idea to a succinct formula leaves me totally bereft of the understanding intended by the mathematical author of the original idea. 

 

          Spoken and written communication �" in its contrasting formats of formal and informal genres adds to the challenge.  Informal communication is that which occurs between friends at a party; on the other hand, formal being that used in an office meeting.  The informal use of language or conversation can be enormous fun �" full of expletives of the most delightful shades and full-blown colour!  

 

Purists or prudes, will often say �" those who swear lack the word power to express themselves correctly.  I disagree entirely.  There are those with wonderful regional accents, whose conversations just wouldn’t be the same if left bare of expletives.  Imagine a Glaswegian, such as comedian Billy Connolly, in a conversation not containing the ‘F’ bomb �" or an Irishman conversing without a few ‘feck dis’ or ‘b*****d dat’ �" thrown in!  Unadorned intelligent conversation can be simply boring �" but livened up with a colourful little verb or adverb �" the exchange takes on a whole new descriptive aspect.  A formally dry or lackluster account suddenly takes on a novel life of its own.  The conversation becomes picture-like and startlingly clear in the mind of the listener(s).  It matters not, of course, that each listener’s mental image bears no relation to the others �" as far as we can know!  I will admit, as an addendum, the use of expletives, tends to be ‘shocking’ in nature. Perhaps the ‘shock value’ helps focus the listener’s concentration on what is taking place within the verbal exchange.

 

This then becomes the ‘art of conversation’; the ability to either play an audience or be as boring as bat-s**t.  The onus remains on the speaker not to overplay their hand!  Being a ‘conversation hog’ in an informal situation can be just plain dreary!  Conversation may be guided by one ‘life and soul of the party’, but anecdotes should be shared equally by all. 

 

Therefore, it is not so much my desire to swear or cuss as the mood requires - directing the dialogue �" but rather the freedom to follow the diversions that occur naturally in any conversation, any life, any tale or any individual reality.  This has to be achieved as succinctly and naturally as possible �" exactly like the mathematical formula.  My ‘autobiography’ has to make sense regardless of where in the world it travels, or whatever emotions the stories include!  Is that too demanding for an author intent on reflecting his or her  past life?  I think not �" if the formula is the correct one. 

 

I think each period or subject �" loosely speaking - should be treated as an essay in its own right.  If the collection of essays ends up forming ‘chapters’ in a greater tome - so much the better; if the essays overlap �" so what �" that’s lifelike too. 

 

The necessary thread of individuality needs to run through each essay �" allowing the reader to walk away with the greater overall picture as the reader pieces together the contents of each essay.  Again, each reader will form an entirely different mental opinion or empathy with the dialogue, based on their own individual reality and life experiences; and that’s as it should be.      

 

A reinforcing analogy occurs to me at this point…imagine if you will, an actor with a script.  The film is being shot in a studio or on location.  Each scene is carefully and individually constructed.  Each character is faithfully moulded through each consecutive scene to suit the storyline.  The film and its characters unfold scene upon scene �" never each scene in isolation.  Always the thread �" achieved maybe by time lapse or flashbacks �" chronological time becomes irrelevant.  All stories are - if you like �" ‘compressions of individual reality’.  Rarely does the character have a regular need to visit the toilet or pass wind �" unless it is actually part of the story; such mundane trivia is normally left to the individual imagination.

 

Very often there is an overwhelming need to travel to a seemingly unrelated scene �" a different part of the globe �" another planet �" or wherever �" to make the story unfold in the desired way.  This is a reflection on how ‘life’ really is!  Nothing occurs in isolation!  In our human understanding �" there is never an action without a reaction.  No chicken �" no egg �" no egg �" no chicken.  Nothing occurs in a vacuum �" there is ALWAYS a beginning and ALWAYS an end; to think otherwise is the road to insanity.  Our very lives are nothing less than a continuing series of interwoven intellectual experiences �" each built into and upon the other �" each new experience directly related to the circumstances in which the previous experience occurred.  We may have two entirely different characters, each appearing in a similar story that starts….NOW!  What they do NEXT depends entirely on the direct previous experience(s) of the individual.  Therefore �" no matter what the storyline �" that story is without fail, going to be different with each telling. 

 

Those individual differences may be minimal or vast, depending on many things �" not least of all culture, gender, geographical orientation, even physical size and strength or lack of it! 

I’m sure that with a little thought, one could come up with an unlimited list of events that would impact directly on anyone’s life story �" or any part of it.  It is this historical elasticity that interests me.  The flexibility to relate one part of the story to another seemingly unrelated event; this is the way all life stories unfold daily! 

 

The overall point is, personally, I find it difficult to write in a straight uncomplicated line; events for me just don’t happen that way.  Provided I end up with a unified reflection of what I see as ‘my life’ then I will consider the job well done.  

 

I know, even before I start unraveling all of life’s threads - whatever I create �" I would be able to re-create in an entirely different way if I so desired to rewrite the same accounts at a different juncture.  There is a certain symmetrical poetry in that fact alone.  Life is, after all, an illusion �" a Maurits Cornelis Escher artwork of amazing complexity and of impossible dimensions.

 

Let the experimental essays begin…

Reviews

[Tevo77777]

Is this just the way my mind works " shooting off at almost impossible " seemingly unrelated - tangents? That may well be the case; or it may simply be a true reflection of my individual reality.

Why are the "" not touching any words? Is this slang you are using inside them?

"Let me clarify "

Why is there a " there now?

The language is really really up there, I understand what all of the words mean; but if I was a year younger I would not.

Why did you tell us you suck at advanced math? I'm not sure what that had to do with the rest of the essay.

So I can more or less understand what the rest of the essay is saying and it sounds very reasonable, but considering the high language and the repetition of what you are trying to say; it's not exactly quick to get to the point.

I wish I could understand them better.