Chapter 10

"When loneliness is a constant state of being, it harkens back to a childhood wherein neglect and abandonment were the landscape of life."

― Alexandra Katehakis

The sound of whimpering and scratching at the bathroom door broke me from my thoughts. I hesitantly yanked the door open to find Casper standing on his tiny hind legs, blue eyes round and filled with concern. I reached down and picked him up, bundling him in my arms.

"You wanna go downstairs with me Casper? Huh, boy?"

Casper barked in reply.

"Shhh we have to be quiet," I cooed and quietly made my way out of my room and down the hall. I avoided looking in the direction of Alexander's room, not wanting to think about him in my time of confusion.

I had just entered the kitchen when my tired eyes landed on the open back door. Panic immediately settled in my chest as I cautiously crept towards it. I stepped outside into the starless night and looked around looking for any sign of a break in or intruder. There was no one there.

Casper began to wriggle in my arms, his hind legs pressing against my chest. I held fast onto his little body, but he was to quick for me and managed to slip out, bounding towards the direction of the gazebo, his little tail wagging behind him. I quickly followed after him not wanting him to become lost in the maze of flowers.

"Casper! Come back here!" I half-whispered half-yelled.

There was no response from my little puppy, but the closer I got to the direction he had headed in, a strange sound filled my ears. No, not strange, familiar and yet not familiar. As I got closer the sound of a piano being played filled my ears and I froze. What kind of intruder would play the piano?

I quickly but soundlessly slunk closer to the gazebo as The Approaching Night by Philip Wesley flowed through the garden, and completely forgetting my previous quest to find a certain little white ball of fur, I stopped at the door of the gazebo and watched the silhouetted figure of Alexander King playing the melodic instrument.

His fingers glided over the keys with ease, the moonlight surrounding his lean form as he moved in tune with the music. I became lost in the wonderful sound and had to forcibly stop myself from going to sit next to him, just to hear him clearer.

As the final notes of the song were played and it came to a soft stop, I finally let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

As if he had heard me, Alexander whipped around faster than I could blink and we proceeded to stare at each other wide eyed. I felt a deep embarrassed blush rise up on my cheeks at being caught as his startled look turned into a dark glower.

"What the f**k are you doing here?" He growled, sitting rigid in his seat.

I live here stupid, I thought sarcastically.

I cleared my throat trying to get my bearings.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said, thankful my voice hadn't wavered.

Alexander abruptly stood up and walked out the door of the gazebo, his shoulder roughly bumping into mine. How rude, I thought as I turned around and followed him.

"Wait! I didn't mean to startle you. It's just...I thought you were an intruder and then I lost Casper and then I heard you playing and...just...you were really good," I rambled as explanation for my presence.

"Why exactly are you playing this late at night, if you don't mind my asking?"

"It's none of your f*****g business but if you absolutely must know, I...couldn't sleep and you said I could play whenever I wanted," He said accusingly, green eyes narrowing into slits.

"Yes, I did say that and I'll say it again, you are welcome to play any time. I just wasn't expecting you to take me up on my offer," I said feeling nervous all of a sudden.

Before he could reply a soft bark and then a whine interrupted.

"Casper!" I exclaimed, remembering what my original purpose of coming this far into the garden was.

"Casper?" Alexander asked.

"My puppy," I explained.

"You named your dog after a ghost?" He asked incredulously.

"Not just any ghost, the friendly ghost," I said back with a smile.

"Oh yes, because that makes a real difference," He muttered under his breath but I chose to ignore him.

"Will you help me find him? I think he ran off towards Kierra's Dahlia's," I looked up at him hopefully.

"No. Does it look like I give a s**t about you or your f*****g dog?" He snapped.

It felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over my head. His rudeness threw me off. I had been nothing but welcoming towards him and hadn't even cursed him out and yet here he was, acting like I had committed some sort of an offence.

More importantly, why was I acting like a damsel in distress and why was I even talking to him? I could find Casper by myself. I didn't need his help and after last nights nightmare, I sure as hell didn't want it. I scowled at him before turning around fully intending on leaving him behind to find my baby.

Serena's request decided to make its presence known then as her words traveled in a circular motion around my head.

Be his friend, She said.

Was I really willing to do that? I took a quick glance behind me only to find him staring at the ground beneath his bare feet.

His hands were by his sides, balled into tight fists, his jaw was clenched and lips pursed. He looked angry but it was his stance that threw me off. At that moment, looking at him, he looked more lost than Casper was, and a lot more angry.

Suddenly he sighed and began walking towards me. I straightened up, briefly wondering what he wanted, but instead of saying something he merely walked past me and further into the garden. I was shocked. What game was he playing?

So much for not caring enough to help me, I thought, shaking my head slowly. Might as well take advantage of his temporary generosity.

I turned around again and began searching for Casper when I heard yapping a few feet ahead of me. A glance over towards Alexander revealed little Casper lying at Alexander's feet panting, his legs sticking up in the air. I jogged over quickly feeling relieved.

"Cute dog," Alexander muttered, picking Casper up and holding him against his chest as his hand stroked his snow white fur.

"Thanks and...thanks for finding him," I said awkwardly.

"Wasn't that hard. He really stands out, what, with all this black," He snorted.

Hearing him snort made me feel warm inside but I pushed away those thoughts and focused instead on the flowers surrounding us.

Most of the flowers in the middle of the garden were pitch black just like Kierra liked them; kind of like her heart. Some were naturally dark and others had been dyed per her request. The rest of the flowers were dark shades of purple and red. They added a spooky feel to the otherwise sunny garden.

"Even a fool could have found him quickly, or maybe not," He muttered under his breath.

I felt the sting of his words once again as I contemplated pushing him into the fountain in the middle of the garden.

"Why do you have to be so rude?" I said.

"Why, does it bother you?" He replied.

"Obviously, or I wouldn't have asked!" I snapped.

"Good, let it bother you! And don't ever talk to me like that again!" He yelled, eyes blazing from anger.

"Then you don't talk to me like that either!" I snapped.

We glared at each other for a long time before he growled in irritation.

That makes two of us.

"Stupid f*****g b***h," He muttered turning away from me. My mouth dropped open in shock before rage consumed me once again.

"Speak for yourself you c**k sucking c**t!" I yelled at his retreating back.

I followed Alexander fully intending to grab Casper and bolt but he was already more than halfway to the house. I had to run to catch up with him all the while cursing him under my breath.

I would love to say that I went back to my room when we entered the kitchen but he still had Casper in his arms which surprised me. Casper didn't like anyone, except for me and sometimes Jaxon, so his blatant show of acceptance shocked me.

The little traitor nuzzled his nose into Alexander's toned chest and whined in contentment. I suddenly felt envious of him. Pfft, how ridiculous, jealous of a dog.

I blinked hard and rubbed my face before glancing at the clock. It was past seven, Saturday morning, and with a sigh I held my hands out to Alexander, requesting for the return of my pup.

Instead, he pulled a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down at the counter. I dropped my arms awkwardly at the realization that he wasn't letting go anytime soon.

"Can I have my dog back?" I asked trying to reign in my already boiling temper.

"No," He said.

"Why the f**k not?" I crossed my arms across my chest and glared at him.

"Because I said so, but if you really want him back, then get down on your knees and beg me," He said snarkily.

"The hell I will!" I yelled. "I wouldn't beg you if you were the last person on the face of this f*****g earth," I said.

"Fine, suit yourself," He said smugly with a shrug of his shoulders.

Goddamn him, that f**k puppet.

I sighed in annoyance when he suddenly spoke up again.

"Why do you let them treat you like that? Kierra and Terra, I mean."

"Like what?" I asked turning to face him. He kept his gaze glued to the bottle in his hand.

"Like...like their b***h," He said.

For the third time in less than thirty minutes, I felt like I had been slapped.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

He slowly looked up at me and then stood up. He dropped Casper onto the ground and made his way around the table until he was standing in front of me.

"I said that you let them treat you like their b***h," He said.

His jade green eyes were boring holes into my brown eyes as he said this, his lips turned down in a deeper scowl.

"I do not let them treat me like their b***h!" I snarled.

"Really? Could have fooled me," He muttered. "What was it again? Oh, right! This is Cassidy, our Au Pair. Or was it, Cassidy, get on your hands and knees and scrub the floor. Cassidy, obey our every order while we treat you like our bitch. They can't even get your name right," He said smirking.

I felt my face flush in more anger as I glared at him. By now my fingers were itching to scratch the smirk off his face.

"Pathetic really. You just stand there and let them treat you like s**t." He snorted. "You might as well be s**t. Even a crack w***e has more pride than you."

"Shut the f**k up!" I yelled. "How dare you? You don't know me! You don't know anything about me! How dare you stand there and act like you know me when you don't? How dare you act like you are better than me?"

"Because it doesn't take a genius to figure out what kind of girl you are! You are the type of girl who puts on a brave face all the time but in reality is nothing but a footstool! A servant! It's girls like you that I can't f*****g stand! Girls who do nothing but constantly pity themselves! Woe is me, my life sucks! Get the f**k over yourself and do something about it!" He yelled.

"Maybe people wouldn't walk all over you if you actually had a f*****g backbone!" He snarled.

I could feel tears pooling in my eyes. His words hurt me more than he could possibly know. They were true and I knew it.

"Well, I am so sorry that everything about me disgusts you but this is my life and I am going to keep on living it," I whispered, my voice cracking at the end.

"For how long? How long are you going to just sit there and let them f**k you over?" He said.

"How long have you been a pissy bucket of d****e?" I said back.

"Ever since you stepped foot into my life," He replied.

I laughed harshly as his eyes turned dark.

"I think you mean ever since you stepped into my life. Nobody asked you to be here," I said.

"You stand there acting like you are all mighty and holy when you are nothing but a s****y human being trying to tell me how to live my life. Why the f**k do you even care? You have done nothing but be an a*s to me since the second you saw me. Why the f**k does it matter so much to you what type of person I am?" I asked.

"It matters because my sister likes you. She has it in her head that the two of you are going to be the best of f*****g friends. I made that mistake once and I am not going to do it again. She also seems to have it in her head that you are going to somehow save me," He came closer to me as he spoke. We were now only inches apart, our eyes connected.

"This is a warning. You cannot save me. Don't even try it. How can you possibly save me when you can't save yourself? Do yourself a favor and stay the f**k away from me. Stay the f**k out of my business and I will stay out of yours. If you see me coming, run the opposite f*****g way, or else I will not be responsible for my actions," He snarled.

Alexander glared into my eyes a little longer as his threat hung in the air. His eyes had become dark and dangerous, filled with nothing but anger.

"What did I ever do to you? To make you hate me?" I whispered.

"Nothing. Not yet, but I won't take that chance. Not again," He said before stepping back and stalking out of the kitchen. I slowly backed up against the counter and slid down to the ground as tears poured freely from my eyes.

His words hurt. They cut me deeper than if Kierra or Jaxon or Terra had said them. They hurt because Alexander was practically a stranger and yet somehow managed to hate me.

Was I really that bad of a person that people hated me for no apparent reason? Was I really that unlovable that people only saw my faults? Is that why she left me? Because she hated me and couldn't stand to look at me? To call me her daughter?

I sat on the ground crying once again as the story of my abandonment fluttered through my broken thoughts.

                                                      ~ABL~

It was the day before I left for the orphanage. Outside was filled with sunshine as the California heat infiltrated the city. Inside the Kinsley mansion, was another story altogether.

In fact it was cold, freezing really. Always freezing. I was sitting on a chair in the family room with Jaxon and Kierra in front of me. They wanted to explain why I was leaving, or at least that is what they told me. Jaxon started first.

"Callista I...I know that this is hard for you. It is hard for me too, but, you have to understand that I am only trying to do what is best for you," He said, his gray eyes boring into mine.

"But why? Why can't I just stay here with you? I thought I was your daughter. Why are you sending me away?" I asked.

"You are my daughter Callista. I am sending you away for your own good."

"Why? Because I don't fit into your lifestyle? Because you are ashamed of me?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes.

"No! That is not why. Why would you think that?" He asked sorrowfully.

"Oh, Jaxon, why lie to the poor little thing?" Kierra spoke up, "You know what, why don't you leave and let me take over from here, hmm?"

"Kierra, I am perfectly capable of-"

"Now, Jaxon! We don't want any trouble do we, dear?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously as they stared each other down.

Jaxon turned towards me one last time, his eyes examining my face carefully, storing it into his memory.

He stood up and leaned down towards me, placing a soft kiss onto my temple. His breath fanned across my forehead, and with a sigh, he stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me with the Kraken.

"Now, where were we? Ah, yes, you see Callista, you are right. The real reason we are sending you away is because you do not fit into this lifestyle. In fact, you are the epitome of everything that could possibly go wrong in our lives. We are royalty and you are a pauper-a poor, foolish girl's mistake."

I stared at her in confusion.

"What girl?" I asked.

"Your mother of course! You see Cami, your dearest mother did not want you. You were too much of a burden on her and one day she just decided that she would get rid of you. You do know of course that killing you was out of the question, though I would not have blamed her," She said taking a sip of her champagne.

"So, she brought you hereto us. I remember that day well. It was raining and thundering and poor little baby Cami was crying her little baby heart out," Kierra cooed.

"She dropped you at the gate and then simply left without looking back. She didn't leave a note or anything if that's what you're wondering; just your clothes, blanket, a bottle of food, and your birth certificate. Jaxon found you on his way home, almost ran you over," She said, looking at me with pity.

"Jaxon, bless his foolish heart, wanted to keep you and so we did. He got you a new birth certificate and everything. The one thing he didn't do though, was legally adopt you. Which is another reason why we are sending you away," She took another drink from her glass before setting it down.

Kierra stood up from her seat and sat down next to me. She reached over and wrapped her bony arm around my shoulders. I felt chills run down my spine and I shuddered but if Kierra noticed, she didn't comment.

"But it's okay, isn't it Cami? Besides, with you gone, Terra and Brooklyn will not be overshadowed by your ignorance. We don't want them to think that they are inferior to you do we? No we don't," She said answering her own question.

"The fact of the matter is, your birth parents did not want you, so they brought you here. You may think that you are Jaxon's daughter but you are not, not even legally," She laughed her eyes twinkling happily.

"You don't belong here and you never will. But it's okay. Someday you will understand and you will thank us," She said, her hand stroking my hair.

"I promise."