Just a poem touching on an universal theme about complicated relationships.
Tea Break
Sweet silence and quiet words
-spinning inside my empty tea cup-
Waltz with your love
Follow the cracked porcelain tiles,
Mirroring the beats as we laugh
A rainbow
-Enchanted bended lyrics-
Steps marching with time
Steady tempo
That hands cannot grab
Honeyed figurines
That feet cannot follow
A dream, born in a song,
That souls cannot hear,
Bodies closing the lines
Turn and twist,
Frustration raises,
Melody trembles,
Eyes fade with a sigh;
Your stain paints my cup
And I...I
Sip your goodbye.
For me this was a hot mess. Now, before you go and get mad at me I want to say that I mean this in a good way. It was both chaotic and expressive ,at times I wasn't quite sure what I was reading or where you were going with it,but that too is why I liked it. Some favorite lines were "a dream born in a song that souls cannot hear" ....beautiful. " your stain paints my cup and I...I drink you away." Very nice. I think that the way that you did this you allow your readers to create multiple interpretations of the true meaning of the poem,one that I suspect is a metaphorical personal write. Well done.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
I love honest comments. Thank you. Yes my poems have 2 or more layers and they are always written in.. read moreI love honest comments. Thank you. Yes my poems have 2 or more layers and they are always written in a way that allows for many interprations.
Your Tea break is really refreshing. So beautifully and politely you said goodbye in your last 2 lines. It's Amazing
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you. My writing style is a bit different in that I don't really write about myself but issues .. read moreThank you. My writing style is a bit different in that I don't really write about myself but issues that resonate with most of us. However, this poem is about saying goodbye to a dear character of mine. I'm writing a book and sadly I had to stop and restart because the plot wasn't just working. But I worked on him for 6 months so hey I had to say goodbye:( The last line has his initial.
8 Years Ago
Miss writer good luck with your book. Hope I will get to glimpse of your writing too.
Really drawn in by your use of such a small item, namely a tea cup, or such a brief period of time, a tea break, as a vehicle to discuss human relationships. Truly enjoyable to read. x
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thanks Sara for noticing my analogies. I tend to grasp just moments in a scene/ behaviours to write .. read moreThanks Sara for noticing my analogies. I tend to grasp just moments in a scene/ behaviours to write about them. Some people tend to stare at their cups as they drink as I think to escape reality or reflect about their lives so I just wrote a poem about it.
This poem warmed me so sweetly. I love your imagery, so happy at first.. the porcelain tiles.. the rainbow..
Then the "frustration raises..melody trembles." I feel a love that's fading, the only memory left is the stain on your tea cup.. Another very well written piece, thank you so much for sharing! :)
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my eyes and all is born again.
Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Fav poets: Neruda, Picasso & Plath
Yes, I came back. Tried other sites but I ke.. more..