A Beautiful end(colab with CecilA)

Thanks to ceclia for the help!

An esquisite light blue rose

Covered with melting frost

It's petals now fresh with dew

Drip drops of sweet poison

For whomever's lips it touches

Now lie in death's cold thrall

Author's Note

Thanks to ceclia for the help!

Reviews

[CecilA]

GDM,

I like it a lot but I have a few ideas:

'A fragile delicate blue rose' seems like duplicate words. How about 'An esquisite blue rose' 0r 'An esquisite light blue rose' would do the job.

'Covered in a layer of frost' 'The petals fresh with dew' can't have frost and dew at the same time - unless the dew is melting.

Petals = plural; it (it's) = singular. need to rework this.

Suggestion: How about something like this?

An esquisite light blue rose
Covered with melting frost
It's petals now fresh with dew
Drip drops of sweet poison
For whomever's lips it touches
Now lie in death's cold thrall

Sorry for trying to write for you but it's the easiest way for me to show you what I'm thinking without writing an epistle about it.

[KeeD]

I like the suggestions and hope the author can take them into consideration and somehow work with them to make it his own :)

[InsanityWriter]

BEAUTIFUL. :) This is amazing. I love the imagery!! Great work! ^_^

[Country Girl]

I like this, it is really good.!! (:

[Carnation]

Great job! Wonderful piece of work displayed right in front of me.

[Shannen Forrester]

Wonderful, just brilliant!

[MandaBear]

Awesome! Great write 100%

[Rika]

Thanks!

[deepblue04]

that's a really short and sweet poem, good job!

[RachelReaper]

AWESOME! I want said rose to keep in a jar and give to my enemies. You could write an entire fairy tale off of this.

[Khouchan]

Wow it was simple and extremely beautiful at the same time, I Loved it so much, this was great! ^^

[Becca Bishop]

Very beautiful! I would've liked to read it before it got changed, just to see what it was like, but I think it would've been as good as this one. Good job!!! :D

[Castonovia]

Love the image, it fits quite well and gives a picture of perfect chill, deadly sweet poison indeed ;)

[Rika]

Yea thanks!

[Castonovia]

No problem :p