Unknowing

Look into my eyes

And tell me you aren’t scared

 

Looking around

Trying not to make a sound

 

Catching your breath

Only to stand next to death

 

Attempting to be brave

 No matter what I say

 

All the while thinking of a plan

 To delay this bloody end

 

But you don’t fool me

 I see you quivering in fear

 

And what a beautiful sight it is

My darling little brother

Reviews

[Imagine Blade]

This is just fantastic. I appreciate how the poem delivers a clear image by using separate lines from left to right and it brings out that there are like two side of the same coin.

As I read it, I think the lines on the left side are what we consider as beautiful and some sort of paradise. But the right represents darkness, truth and cruelty. Just look at those words - Bloody, the end, fear, death.

Yes. The message really stood out.

Great!

[Rika]

Thanks again!!

[CecilA]

Ditto for me on the previous reviews. Unique; daring and outside the box. I love it. I'm continually impressed with your writing. It makes me wonder what you will produce next; can't wait.

[Felecia]

Strangely this makes me think of me and my (sort of) friend. It's like how she's trying to keep herself up and brave, all while I know that somewhere deep down she's afraid of things and maybe even me, but I'm not really her, so I could be totally wrong.
This poem was raw, kind of creep, dark and sinister, and awesome all at once.
Very nice!

[Mark Emerson]

Like the set out of the poem really good ** wonders if it will be a series to this?**

[Lino Rie]

I love the way you arranged your poem and the story it tells. Well done.

[♪Barklight♪]

wow, that is so cool! enjoying a poem, yet imagining the dark scene spreading it's wings before you. cool but frightening, awsome ^_^

[Irvette Dauphine]

waw.. this poem is amazing..
really, what a great job!

[Bluefire]

Amazing write and uniquelly put, well done!

[Khouchan]

wow, I really liked this, it was really deep, I can tell a-lot of feeling went into it ^_^

[shadow horse]

love the formatting of this like your looking aback and forth and it intensifies the emotion in it along with the last line crossed out.

[Rika]

Thanks!!!!! ^^