COAT RACK CORNERED

CRITC contest:3/31

COAT RACK CORNERED

It stands alone, emptied but for one leafy coat

She calls out HONEY! The cold air is killing my throat

It tetters as the gust thrust into it's naked branch

Simple folk, old and tired, about to lose their ranch

It creaks with a song that's heard so much today

He cries out SWEETIE! There isn't much to say

It rocks with their anger, wishing it could fly

The old ways of living, will finally have to die

It trembles as the mourners, release their coats down hard

The children comfort daddy, as their kids play in the yard

It gasps and longs for solitude, death is hard to bare

The crowd all cry out cus they all have something to share

It longs to be empty, sadness thickens with tear burnt eyes

The people gather closer & seek refuge in their family ties

It pines to be rescued away from all this strife

The moans & groans of sorrow, cut just like an ominous knife

It ponders will ole grandpa, be the next to go

Old Jon faints that second, the burden's too heavy to tow  

It wonders will the pretty one, take it's middle beam

Oh yes, her hand comes closer, her eyes begin to gleam

It flaps it rickety peglets in the open air

Prissy peels out quickly as if she doesn't care

It sees the city lights, shine bright as hidden gold

Prissy hugs its figure, it's home is about to unfold

It smiles in the corner, covered with coats & more

The party just got started, travelin' thru the open door

It sniffs in the happiness, everyone dances up a storm

Prissy has given it a home, that's full of love that's warm 

 c2010 GBU 324 1255P

  

Author's Note

OPEN VOTING FOR THE COAT RACK INTHE CORNER CONTEST ENDS 4/10 MIDNIGHT

Reviews

[Satchmo's Gal]

Epic job!

[R J Askew]

Marvellous job. A proper poem, well executed. It has drama, charm and insight. I enjoyed it. The quirky title pulled me into it. The first three lines made me think of a woman. I just read 'she' instead of 'its' and it was her. But then I took the poem more seriously. It's very well observed and I suspect you must have gazed at a specific coat rack many times, possibly over years. Though maybe not. Ach, cld almost feel the weight of coats on me as I re-read your poem. But the coats are lives perhaps. Maybe the rack is life itself, tired of all it puts us through, of repeating the same old stories over and over again.

[Legion]

Well, that is different. Like the perspective. Never thought through the eyes of a coat rack. Kudos.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem.

[Emily]

Wonderful imagery. I never would think about a coatrack in the corner and the feelings it could have. Hope the contest goes in your favor, this is a really nice piece. The first stanza is powerful and that goes straight through to the very last sentence. Way to carry the flow and the power through each word and each line!

[Ruth]

This is great! Like it!

Awesome imagery, thought provoking xx

[Alex W]

I really like it, poor coat rack lol.

Kudos!

[Narnie]

This is wonderful. There's some heavy rhyme but the weight adds to the longevity of the coat rack viewing life after life. I love this. Now if my household objects could tell, ugh, doesn't bare thinking about. :)

[whimzygirl]

Thank you for this lovely entry.