All That's Left

An exploration of the consequences of sin...

"No sign of Penny- Good,
I would give anything not to have her see..."

Make no mistake, I don't like this feeling-
Thoughts coming unbidden, sliding in my head-
If only I give in, if only I let them...

It's so easy, a push, a sigh, a sail-
Bon voyage for a moment, and then the snakes come-
I feel them in my eyes, in my head the images course-

I didn't want to bring you into this-
Using sunglasses, surrogates, and a smile-
I'm lying straight to your face - and you'll never know!

I keep turning to substitutes-
Shots of bubbling enthusiasm to get me away from here-
More, always more of the chemical dilators-
Always less effective at stirring the blood and forcing the fog out of my head.

It's different when I'm around you - I don't need them!
Your presence, a set of headlights aimed at the fog-
Not eliminating it, but giving it boundaries - letting me see the end.

You don't see them, the snakes?
Not until the end, not until you look into my eyes-
And turn to stone - stuck in the trust I sold to you.

"If your eye causes you to sin..."
Ah, but a door can work both ways!
I can't release my demons at the risk of inviting more in!

They won't leave, anyway - they know I need them-
A fix, a feast, to calm them down-
To stay their movement and let me sleep.

A sleep disturbed by dreams - a parade of images-
Strobe lights illuminating a person that looks like me-
This is not what I am, this is not the truth!

But it will be.

A balloon held to Earth by 100 lengths of line-
Still will not fly if you cut ninety-nine.

Pennylover saved her money for her sweetheart-
So they would never have to be poor.

He spent his on a lark-
In a dark room with a locked door.

They passed on the street and she didn't recognize him-
Walked on by.

All that's left are the snakes-
And the dreams you feed them for their company.