Blind

Figured I'd write a short one.

It's...too dark, I cannot see
My eyes decieve me, and so I am blind
It's...over, I feel nothing anymore
My life deceived me, and so I am dead.

Author's Note

I love critiques.

Reviews

[Karen]

It's a short poem to critique, but I'll simply respond to it. I kind of like the ellipsis in the first and third lines though I don't know why they're there. The poem also repeats the word "deceive" so I'm not sure if that is intentional. I would suggest to put another word related to "deceive" there just so that it does not sound redundant since the poem is so short. The poem itself is very general (obviously it has to be that way because it's short), but it leaves me wanting to know more.