Defenseless

This is a poem that seems to have won a lot of awards on different sites...even though I can't even remember what sites they are...

Split open at the seams
A fractured heart drags me down
Soon I'll repair the flaws
And sever myself from your control
I will not be brought to my knees by sympathy
Your demeanor angers me
Angst to the highest degree
You leave me feeling defenseless
A toy, a victim, an object of your desire
Break me once, and try once more
You will fail
I'll be sure to leave you defenseless
Just as you left me.

Reviews

[Michael X]

brandon-you have a great ability for justifying your thoughts through specific wording and rhyme form
"defenseless- truly delving and depthfully charged with reasoning in choice action- to take control
of that which will either destroy or break the heart-the metaphorical projection you employ draws
the reader to specific pondering-an award winning site- sounds like poetic republic- a great site
sculpted to terms- realistic and well written -thanks for sharing

[Butterflymom]

Very well written, and powerful in it's simplicity. I can see why you've won awards for this piece because it was creative and the imagery was awesome!

[emmajoy]

This has the lot!

You've used your emotion - or, maybe, imagined emotion, to construct a poem that shows hurt but, has a sting in its tail:: 'I'll be sure to leave you defenseless - Just as you left me.' The meter flows, the phrases used are explicit from the man but, almost, tho' not completely, subtly put by the poet.

Thank you, thank you for sharing a fine piece of work.

[N3v3r_2_L@t3]

I liked that poem. It's really good=] Though its short, I catch the meaning in your words. I see how its won so many awards. There is nothing that I would change about this poem. You did a great job. Keep up the good work. I hope to see more from you=]