Nicotine Dreams.

i guess that i just have to choose
as i know, some you win, some you lose
and i just lost my lungs
i coughed them out all over your brand new shoes

nicotine dreams and winter nightmares
i'll sit back and laugh as my mind tears

spring love, revenge and bloody break-ups
never ceases to make me happy
summer mistakes and throbbing headaches
from lack of cigarettes and caffeine

lack of sleep tends to make you unaware of what is happening,
disoriented and cast away from reality
like lightning without thunder,
substituting restlessness in place of hunger
and paranoia in place of slumber

i'm inhaling the end of me, deadly and quietly
exhaling the hellish fire that grows inside of me,
intensifying the desire that's been fighting me

i've been tossing and turning,
puffing and learning
that i couldn't stop even if i tried
and the throbbing is getting worse and worse,
eating at my mind
a slow way to kill yourself, but a quick way to pass the time

a rotten feeling in my rotting lungs
the taste of ashes on my tongue
again i've started what i begun-- three packs ago
take it fast, but die slow
little by little, every day

i hope my addictions will go up in smoke
maybe i'll drink them away