A letter from Love

Love Personified

With white or yellow smiles that lead to some word or some conversation follow a sequence of walks on fragile intentions. Well meaning speech patterns could break the soft marshmallow foundation in construction. She might be nervous and although her beauty does not show it on the outside; she’s an insecure wreck. This is what she wants, Love, or the feeling of Love. Her expectations are “ this is going to work out” All before You have tried, failed, and failed again. Her irrational mind puts up a series of jumps, hurdles, and puzzle games. Some even God could not accomplish... Well... No... You get what I mean.

 

Then you might bump into a succubus; feeding off the love you give. Love you give without a moment’s thought. You love her and she loves you. No price to pay or so you thought. She loves you? Yes? And she loves you, no? For the love you give is not enough, never enough. She needs to feel “Important” She needs to feel “Wanted” And although you do both things to the best of your abilities, it is never enough. And here I am standing in the corner of a dark hotel room smoking a strawberry flavored cigarette watching her rise up and down on another man.

 

A man you don’t know about. A man who is almost your reflection, minus the brown hair and the crooked eyes; He’s your height, a little less built, and carries a slight limp. He smiles at his reflection in the mirror with a smirk. His thoughts bounce off me and unfortunately he is just like you. A few minutes later after the act is finished she is up on her feet. She removes herself from the room and as I follow her she replaces nakedness with clothes. Her lover kisses her deeply from behind and she responds in kind.

 

An hour later she’s in your arms laying on you on the couch watching your “show” You smell the cologne but your conscious mind ignores the lingering annoyance. You lock eyes with me unknowingly and it pains me to see the pain behind them. That subconscious fire that glows deep orange burns bright. Your mind is sullen in its duty to your heart. The heart holds sway over the competent processes of your mind. A snip here and a tug there and wires relaying truth are lost. “Love is blind:” mouths your mind and I nod in agreement and get up to leave in the same motion.

 

I’m definitely not blind and as the new successor to my former self I see all. I see the equality of love and pain. I watch the loneliness in togetherness. Everything a contradiction and nothing is sacred, everything in need of a quick fix, everyone is falling in love at first sight, a first f**k, at first. No one is taking the time to savor the flavor of life. The scent of love permeates throughout the world like the sterility of Styrofoam. They pass laws allowing an eye for an eye but not laws to allow those in marriages the time to let love love. A quick swing of the gavel and here lies alimony.

 

I pain and I yearn for the days of old. Ocassionally I bump along the road of life and find the familiarity of true love. A love that stands the test of time…throughout the ups and downs …the lies of being human I have a purpose and although the world is closed eye to see I must not give up. I must take the little bit of light and find my way. To those who meet me I beg of you. Look upon me with care, with respect. Look upon me with soft eyes and a determined heart. For who knows when the next time you shall be surrounded by my aura again.

 

Au reviour

 

Love