Because

Taking things out of the box and looking at them, these ones after 32 years or so.

This may seem strange but not as strange as it might be.
Lost amongst these phrases will be a line or two that are actually from me.
The rest will be the framework, the support I think it's called.
The nothingness to hide behind when writing things of personal intent,
or not intent, but its resolve

I think I'll add a road or path, a stream found at its end.
A sacred place. I met Him there and He saw me, I did not see him.
How I got there confuses me. I was a boy then at the time.
Yelling-Screaming-Bickering, the noises and pressures overwhelmed.
I found myself walking down a road overgrown, so now a path.
Curiosity never defined this but some need or something else.

At the end the warmest sunlight, the water pure. I kneeled.
Overwhelmed I felt Him watching me. I felt something, peace and love and WOW, something else!
Afraid to stay I made excuses, I chose my bare feet and turned around and walked away.
Back into my life. With Zeke I stole and slid down banks in mud and in my shame. and life went on.

Lost again, this time I'm drunk, I find myself again walking on that path.
Afraid to go scared not to go. I think I almost reached that spot again.
Along the side I saw another path, the two divided by a small stream,
it was deep though and I saw the bogs along its banks. It made me think
Near the end or almost there I knew I shouldn't go there drunk,
still I couldn't turn back. Not on that path. For real I could Not.
I think I skipped the bank and returned East on the other path again.
I remember I think falling a few times into the stream and few times I nearly drowned

Once more time on that path, this part is strange as hell...
Out of the corners of my eye i almost saw things happening over on the East side in the woods.
Tempting me to go for a closer look but I knew if I left that path I might get lost.
It seemed forever and the path must have been longer now and things went on as they go on.
Later clearer now and with boldness there were things among the trees.
Scarves and jewelry and jewels and signs of more. That distraction was now more determined and flickering in and out of trees.
I decided I wouldn't leave the path and didn't leave but found myself off of it anyway.
In a low clearing now I looked around and saw some of the things, but not the same.

Standing now low in this place I saw at once what once had been.
The jewels were worthless, the scarves were vile.
The party had been here. I was here and it was frightening.
I looked closer and saw seduction all the gadgets and their appeal were just seduction, like trash I saw the value of them, not as I had seen before.
Then the woman came out from behind the tree.Beauty beyond my dreams,
taunting like promising me and offering me these things.
Not knowing or understanding this because here was all that I desired.
I looked at her ashamed of her until she looked away from me.
Then she hadn't changed but my eyes had changed, very slowly the way they see.
Her face was fake. It was good but fake. Her beauty wasn't real, Nothing was real.
Nothing...

Not a damn thing was real.

Only the path, only the sunlight, only the clear running stream at the end and only Him.
Him the one I hadn't seen, the Him that did see me
The Him, the one I hadn't heard. The Him that had heard me.
All that was of value was Him and that made me think.

Three times on that path I only reached the end once and that was for Him to make me safe.
My efforts never got me there, they only showed me what I had been, what I had desired, what I had wanted when I had turned away from Him

Pffft... I lost my frame or I forgot my frame because every word of this was true.
It was a dream in May 1979 or around then and that dream still haunts me today
Praise God, Jehovah, Jesus and the rest it makes no sense except the part where I can't "go" there. Like I once found myself there because....