2015 WIP

A Story by FunkPunk

My life throughout 2015

New Years Day

January 1, 2015

I woke up with a pounding head and my breath smelling of alcohol. My fingers smelled of smoke and I was f*****g cold. I had crashed on my friends couch which was made of leather so it was even worse which f*****g sucked. It was hitting 30 degrees last night which is surprising for Arizona. I was curled up in a ball and me being skinny didn't help what-so-f*****g-ever. My friend Alex, owner of the house, ended up putting some towels on me to keep me warm. He had given the only free blanket to Nicci who was probably colder than me. I'm glad she got it honestly because I would have felt like the biggest a*****e if I had. Nicci and I have history sadly. She fell for me pretty hard and I let her in only to later dump her because I'm the biggest a*****e in the world.

Let me introduce myself first off. My name's Holden Malsch and I was born in Chicago but moved to Wisconsin when I was only a month or so old and lived there for about 7 years. I then moved to Arizona because of my dad and have been living here ever since. My mom has family all the way over here and my dad's family lives all the way back home in Wisconsin so it's nice to be able to go back and forth even though we barely do. I go to a school called Corona del Sol and I'm ready to get the f**k out already. 12 years is way too f*****g long.

I'm not emotionally okay. I went through a really bad breakup that messed me up inside. She took my virginity and vice versa then left me a week later. I blamed myself for everything that night she texted me saying that she still liked her ex, which is my best friend. I actually stole her from him which is the most fucked up thing in the world but I liked her a lot and we had the same music taste which means a lot to me. It was really stupid honestly. My friend and I are completely cool now and we both have a strong hatred for the girl that shall be left unnamed.

Anyways, back to the story.

I grabbed my phone and checked the time; it was 8:17 and I had gotten scheduled for work at 9:30 so I only wanted to shoot myself a good couple hundred times. I pulled the blue and tan towels off of me and sat up, a little warmer than I was before. Ana, my best friend's girl, came out of the parents room where her and my friend spent the night and sat with us on the couch. By now Nicci and this guy David who slept on this other couch next to us were awake and talking with Ana. We shared how cold we all were and how much we wanted to vomit. My stomach was hurting but I knew that if I didn't eat now I would really f*****g regret it when I went to work so I pulled my shivering a*s off the cold couch and walked to the kitchen.

The sink was full of empty red plastic cups and half eaten limes from the tequila and skyy vodka we had. I whipped out my phone and took a picture of them and made sure that I included the six double shot shot glasses. I swear, it was the best picture I've ever taken. I really should be a photographer, seriously. We were playing beer pong too last night, which I'm terrible at. Me and this girl I met like 10 minutes earlier faced Nicci and David and totally got annihilated. We were so bad to a point where whenever we scored it was such a huge deal that we screamed at the top of our lungs and was told to shut up several times by Alex. We did end up losing that game but we totally got a f*****g A for effort.

I looked around for a pan that I could cook the eggs I found with but ended up having my friend who had just woken up help me. His name is Alex too so we always call him Kingston. I actually call him Alex because I'm not into the whole calling people by their last names. But I'll call him Kingston so you fucktards don't get confused.

Kingston and I have been through a lot. For starters I took his girl. Yes, the same girl that fucked me over after she fucked me. The two of us had been pulled over by the police, gotten drunk together, smoked together, etc. We were the top dogs, I swear to f*****g god. He also works with me and we both want to kill ourselves because of it.

I work at a theatre called Harkin's. It's a very popular company that people love. Our job is to give the people the ultimate movie going experience and to do that we have to do SO much to a point where it's not even worth minimum wage. They had called me during my last shift and asked if I wanted to work on New Years at a small theatre called Valley Art and I accepted it. I told myself that I wasn't going to party and get drunk off my a*s.

Guess who got drunk and high off their a*s. This guy.

So there I was, making eggs for myself and David who asked for some. I made the shittiest eggs ever yet David liked them. When I tasted mine I swear I was a f*****g cook who should own a five star restaurant. They were fantastic. It could of been just because I was in the mood for them or something but they were really f*****g good.

I got dressed into my work outfit and fixed up my hair the best I could with water. I brushed my teeth in the kitchen sink and put all my party clothes into my backpack and put on my coat. Nicci had promised to drive me to work on Mill Ave which was really close so we left around 9 and got there around 9:15. I thanked her and got out. It was still f*****g cold out; cold enough to see my own breath. I have a way of determining whether it's cold or not and that's if you can see your breath, you better bundle up because you'll f*****g die out there.

The thing I have with Nicci is weird. Her and I got along pretty fast I guess after I broke her heart. She opened up to me and I shut her out so fast it's not even funny. I told you, the girl who shall be unnamed really fucked me up relationship wise. Apparently this happened to Nicci twice now; getting shut out like she did by me. So her self esteem is so low that it's burning in the core of the earth right now. She's still going to drive me to school which is surprising because I thought she would just completely blow me off after what I did. The two of us have zero hour which is a really f*****g early class, which, honestly, I shouldn't even be taking. I attend a school called Evit that splits my time at Corona in half. I took an anatomy class my first year which should count as a health credit but it only counts as a science credit which is really stupid in my opinion.

Valley Art is a small theatre. It was the first Harkin's ever made and apparently it was the old farts own apartment. It had a sign with the name of the theatre erected upward and the name of the movie that they were showing right below it with those black letters. This was the only theatre showing The Interview which was pretty cool in my opinion. Fight the man, am I right?

There was a big man out front. He had short hair and glasses that hugged his face. He looked like a complete nerd, like the kind of person you'd see working in a comic book store. Turned out that the big man was the general manager of this fine establishment. When I got close he turned to me and smiled. His front two teeth had a slight gap but he had the sweetest smile, I swear. "Hello!" he exclaimed, "you're here to work, right?" I nodded and told him I was from Chandler Fashion; the Harkin's that I work at. He led me inside and headed towards a door to the left that was next to the boys bathroom. The inside was small. Where you buy tickets and food was in the same area which was completely different from my theatre. They also had the oldest looking popcorn machine in the world. I swear, f*****g cavemen used this sack of s**t.

I followed the big man upstairs and we stopped in front of a clipboard with a paper on it that you would sign that stated that you worked and and all that junk. "Just sign there and we'll get you started," he told me. I looked at his name tag and saw that his name was Moore, Jake Moore. Like what I did there? No? F**k you.

I set my backpack and fancy P coat down, which for the record I'm f*****g in love with, behind a table and put on my name tag. Holden M. the best employee they'll ever have. The two of us went downstairs again and we stopped in front of the box/concession stand. One of the employees that works at my place popped up from behind the counter and his face lit up when he saw me. He let out a gasp and smiled at me. "Holden! I didn't know you were working here!" His name is Jarrod and he annoys the s**t out of me. He can be cool sometimes but half the time I want to stab the f*****g sap. He has short hair and a pimply face; basically a nerd. He's the sort of person you'd expect to see at a movie theatre.

Mr. Moore went out front and got things ready some more while I went behind the counter and got situated. It was small, very small. Everything was so much closer than it was back at my place. The Harkin's at Chandler Fashion is this really big, 20 theatre place with tons of f*****g room. It's like, if that theatre had sex with another theatre and had a kid, it would be Valley Art. Moore came back in and introduced himself to Jarrod and I. Jarrod shook his hand first, then mine. He then proceeded to explain how everything worked like the nachos and all that s**t that I don't want to explain because it bored the s**t out of me.

"Miss. Oswald should be here very soon," he told us as he stood out in the lobby with his hands held together in front of him. Oswald. That's a really f*****g weird name, like, it reminds me of a big, lovable monster with spots all over it. Is that weird? That's weird. "She'll explain how to make the popcorn and what not so sit tight!"

"Awesome, where are the cups by the way sir?" Jarrod asked. Moore leaned over the counter and pointed at a cupboard. The skinny f**k walked over and opened it up, nodding in the process. "Thank you. Where is the cheese?" This proceeded for another solid 10 minutes. It was going to be a long f*****g day.

10:07 AM

The first movie time was at 10:45 so there was no reason to be here at 9:30 in the f*****g morning. I could have slept in on that cold a*s couch and had some more time to eat but no, that's way too easy. The doors opened and everyone erected upward behind the counter. It was one of the new managers. He looked like a cool dude so he was my hero that I've been holding out for. I didn't want to work all day with Jarrod and this other employee that came in around 9:40. His name was James. He was 22 and his head was already balding. Where does the time go, yknow? He had pimples on the right side of his face which kind of grossed me out considering that they were the big fuckers too.

Anyways, the new managers name was Matt. I don't remember his last name honestly since I called him Matt all the time. He apologized to Moore for being 30 minutes late and explained his issue. Apparently he had driven down to his friends place after having to unfreeze his windshield since he couldn't see out of it. This took about 10 minutes which by then it was already 9:15 so he was f*****g panicking by now. He drove to his theatre because his coat was there so he decided to punch in there then go to Valley Art which was smart I guess.

Matt looked cool. He wore some cool prescription glasses and he spiked up his short hair. He was engaged to this girl he was dating for five years. The sap proposed to her at Disneyworld which is cute. I've never been to Disneyland sadly (happily) mainly because my parents and I hate Disney in general. It's a long story for a later date. But anyways, the two are engaged and happy so that's good.

10:23 AM

Moore and Matt were talking and laughing it up like good ol' pals in the lobby while we were chilling behind the counter, wasting away our New Years. The door that lead up to the punch in paper thing opened and a short, big lady came out. She had these big eyes that hid behind these circle glasses, her nostrils were totally noticeable and she had a small mouth. This was Miss. Oswald. I couldn't help imagine spots all over her. Mr. Moore introduced her to us as she came around back and entered the stand. She didn't shake our hands, thank god, and went straight to work. She turned to us and smiled with her small mouth, "I'll show you how ta make the popcorn." Something about her voice made me grit my teeth. If you haven't noticed I b***h about everything. I'm a terrible, horrible human being.

She got the popper cooking up that s****y popcorn that I've eaten so much of. "It's almost time for the first showing so get ready guys," Moore told us. It was finally time to show these losers what I'm made of.

10:30 AM

The first customer came in around 10:30. She was this bigger girl, thin hair and a fanny pack wrapped around her. Jarrod sold her tickets at the farthest register to the right. She then came to me for food and I swear I couldn't talk. I never stuttered more in my life, it was embarrassing. I was supposed to be the cool one in the group so what the hell was I doing. She asked for a medium popcorn which James got on. She handed me a cup and told me to get her a diet. I capped the drink and handed it back and glanced over my shoulder at James. I swear to god he was the slowest mother f****r in the world. He had just barely filled the bag after all this time. I took the woman's credit card and paid for the two items. The computer took it's sweet a*s time too. I swear this theatre had to have been here since the dinosaurs.

Twenty or so more customers came and bought tickets and food and sat down in the theatre. After that it was dead. It was so dead to a point where they pulled out chairs from the back room and let us sit down until more people came up. Jarrod and James sat down while I leaned against the counter. I made sure that I was next to the hat coat, which basically held up our nachos, popcorn and cheeses; keeping them warm and such. The heat was radiating off and onto my back which felt amazing since I was cold as hell. It's not supposed to be cold in Arizona, that's why I live here.

11:34 AM

Jarrod and his new best friend kept on talking about movies. They talked about Star Wars and a lot about Lord of the Rings. Matt came around the counter and tagged along while I sat in-between them with nothing to add to the conversation. I felt like that awkward third wheel. Matt gave his fiance a ring that was just like the ring from Lord of the Rings which was pretty cool. I think I have this image in my head where whatever Matt does is cool.

James decided to take his break early since he didn't eat breakfast. He obviously didn't get a chance to have the amazing eggs I made for myself this morning. He had me get him some popcorn and a couple drinks which I was actually content with doing since it was dead.

See, I talk a lot of s**t in my head but I can pull off the best fake smile in the world. I want to be a nicer person, honestly, but that requires effort and I don't have that.

1:30

The next showing hit about 72 people until it died again. By now a new manager came in who actually worked at this theatre. His name was Mr. Walker. He was short and had medium length hair that was brushed to the side; he almost looked like Jarrod but at least a little bit attractive. Walker could actually get a girl in my opinion while Jarrod would probably date the first girl who showed the least bit of affection; poor sap. I decided to take my break at this time too so when I was heading out Jarrod came running out after me, turned out that he wanted to take his break with me.

The two of us walked down the cold, brick sidewalk with confetti everywhere. We talked small talk for a while which was alright. I actually hate small talk because lets be honest, you don't give two s***s how the other person is doing. You're just trying to be polite and s**t which is gross.

We crossed the street to Five Guys, which is a burger joint if you don't know what that is. We ordered our food and sat down at a table in the corner, next to some windows which I looked out at while Jarrod talked to me. I glanced at him here and there and nodded, sometimes adding onto what he was saying to me. A homeless man kept walking along this path that was between Five guys and this bar that was right across. The great thing about Mill Ave is that it's this huge place for drinking. There's bars everywhere so if you're 21 this place is heaven. If you're 17 like me, I'm sorry, you're out of luck. There was a guy sitting at the bar, a worker most likely, who was smoking a cigarette. He looked like an average d********g that I envied. I want to be at that sort of level of cool instead of what I'm at now. I really wasn't focusing on him actually. It was more his cigarette that was calling me. It had my name on it and it was whispering sweet words into my ears. God, once I'm 18 I'm going to kill my lungs.

They called our numbers for our food and we grabbed them and headed out. We went upstairs in the theatre and sat down at this small table in the corner. I pulled out my BLT and fries and got comfortable. Jarrod pulled out a cheeseburger and began inhaling it. My phone connected to some WIFI and I drowned myself in Tumblr.