[Gone]

 

I see you laying there

No more worries

No more cares

These feelings to bare

You gone

No feelings to share

I gasp…

No Air

Author's Note

This actually has many different views...some people look at it as an intimate piece... "Its actaully the lost of a friend and looking at them in a casket" How do you see it..?

Reviews

[Sunny]

Wow my friend I found out died two mos ago and i really believe this is what I would have felt if I'd been able to go to the funeral

[[untitled]]

That is exactly how I saw it and I don't think I could see it any other way.
Helen :-))

[PoemRodent]

I would say from my own perspective that this piece brought about a sense of being alone and loss of someone leaving the feeling of despair. Good imagery and short with well penned words,

Good Job!!!

Dostani

[♥ Courtney &hear..]

Oh my goodness, soo sad. I love your word usage here, its so short and simple yet i feel like youve told me the whole story of whats happened . Great piece... and your lying :) its way better then mine.

-Courtney

[Cece]

as i feel when my love is gone
the very air itself is gone
saying that i need you to exist

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

this is a sad poem that sheds light on a lost love, Gone is a great title for this one..I think that you chose your words well because you didnt use that many to begin with and yet i still felt this one..i felt the pain of your character..I also like the rhyming..I enjoyed the read..
Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

s~Shanty~s

[Tania Leigh]

Very powerful, compact poem here....it is good because it tells a story, yet is abstract enough to leave the reader with questions....