Kalsada

Kalsada is the Filipino word for street. I decided on changing the title to this as I feel it says more than I ever could about the situation I see around me. Still in editing phase...

mumunti at maruruming kamay,
tagpi-tagping mga damit na tila

mapupunit na
at mga nakaapak na paa
sa mainit at nagbabagang semento

nagbabakasakaling haplos,
nagmamakaawang tingin
mula sa napapagod nang
matang pinatanda na

mga batang pinagkaitan
ng panahon at pagkamusmos
pilit na pinatanda
ng pagkakataon

 

*****

 

small dirty hands,

tattered clothes barely

holding on

and bare feet

on hot cement

 

a slight touch,

pleading looks

from tiredly

mature eyes

 

children who weren't

allowed to be...,

forced too quickly

to maturity

 

/*Just a note, the translation is not by word but by meaning... If you translate it to English from the Filipino language some parts won't be the same as my English translation. I hope that clears some misconceptions. Thank you for taking the time to read this. For the Filipino readers, yes I know... it doesn't sound good at all. I had a hard time translating it from English, sorry. My thoughts usually are in English and not in Filipino....*/

Author's Note

The first title I had for this piece was 'Street Children' but the idea of calling them children seemed wrong so I decided upon changing it to 'Children - Adults', however after having a brief review with my older sister, I've decided to have it called 'Kalsada' as tribute to the Filipino street children that I encounter every afternoon from school to home.

Reviews

[alternative_be]

Even I do not know a single word of Filipino, I read your original version out aloud... I love the alliterations which are very suitable for featuring the subject. Oh yes, children grow old and mature to quickly when they are not even allowed to be ... a child.
The lucky ones may be get adopted into a loving family abroad, but it will always keep them wondering why they were so unwanted. I've got a 23-year old nephew and a 21-year niece, originally from South - Korea, they were adopted as tiny babies through a legitimate agency, by my cousin and his wife, whose marriage stayed childless. Due to some laws, it was easier to adopt foreign children than children of our own nationality. (True but strange) They are doing well and are good students. I cannot bare to think what would have happened to them if they had been left on the streets of Seoul (or on the beach of Seoul, in my nephew's case) Now they only look Korean, they are more Belgian than Korean, but I have known adopted children to go back to their country as adults.
Thank you for having the courage to tackle this subject. I cannot judge your proficiency in Filipino, but as I said, it sounds as if the poem has got a good built up with alliterations working up to a climax!

[Mistral Bilgera]

Maganda ang tula, sa bersiyong Ingles man o Filipino! Masining na inilarawan ang Tipikal na senaryo sa isang kalsadang Pinoy na bahay ng mga kapus-palad na nanghihingi ng kalinga at pagsagip! sadyang reyalistiko, mahusay na pag-oobserba! Nawa'y palarin ka sa iyong sinalihang timpalak! :)

translation: the poem is beautiful, be it in the English or Filipino version! (it had) artistically depicted the typical Filipino street, home to many underprivileged asking for compassion and rescue. truly realistic, good observation. Good luck on the contest you've joined! :)

[Clarisse Nanoit]

Well, I can't speak Filipino, but I LOVE the English version. Very nice imagery, which, in my opinion, is the very best part of poetry. Thanks for entering this into the contest, and best of luck to you in it!!
KH

[AJ Rosterbom]

amazing piece. very poignant and true. kudos to you! xD

[Angel Bird]

This is a wonderful piece, at least the one in English for I'm absolutely not versed in the other language. However this is very well done and has a deep essence. This world for many is very cruel, but there are still so many millions and billions a year spend on wars instead of ensuring and tending to the basic needs of all human beings on this planet...

You've really wonderfully portrayed the sad picture of those poor, unfortunately forgotten and not wanted children. Great work in every aspect!

[Legion]

It doesn't matter the translation. The message itself was timeless and unfortunate. It is the sadness of our world that these children continue to live like this when there is so much potential in this world for it not to be like this. A great poem no matter how sad it may be. Kudos.

[Autumn's Child]

I like the poem. I'm not so sure about the title, though.