A place

I just don't want to be here.
But yet,
It feels so comforting to hide away and
disappear.
Under my blankets and under my pillow,
A cave where I can hide.
A place where I don't exist.
A place where I can die.

Author's Note

Okay to be honest this poem doesn't have a title, I just put something random at the title....I wrote after the poem when I got out of my 1:30 class. He's a shark in my nightmare. (look up what dreaming of sharks mean and you'll understand)

Reviews

[Darien Don]

It's a little depressing, but you can really feel the emotion. I like the part "Under my blankets and under my pillow/ A cave where I can hide". The reason I like it is because you compare this safe haven to a cave which is usually dark and dirty. I like it. Keep it up.

[Crystal Marie Dreier]

Wow I can so relate to this poem! It's really good and I enjoyed it.

[alexlessah]

This is amazing, I love this poem.

[Chris]

Nikki,

Your "Author's Note" was not needed BECAUSE it came across as you putting uyourself down - least to me. There are enough people in this world that will put you down for free - so you needn't 'help' them.

Now then towards the poem... I don't tend toward destructive criticisms nor those given with a sense of mean-spirit. I also don't re-write another's words for them - that is patently unfair... that being said:

It seems you have something you want to say, something that MEANS something (if only to you)... Two declarative statements to begin - the use of "But" to define a disagreement - good - but the use of "yet" - a way of waffling at least as it appears to me in THIS poem, doesn't really work.

Nikki - you HAVE something you want to express - and THAT has an emotional impact as well... TALK with me, not at or to. TELL me as a bestest friend what it is that bites, sucks, hurts, and how YOU feel about it. Don't 'waffle' - be YOU.

Hi, I'm Chris - YOU take care.

[Chelsea]

I really liked this poem. I think once in awhile we all feel like this. Just wanting to fall of the face of the earth and hide away. This poem clearly explains how most of us feel and it was nice and simple as well. Great write
Keep Writing!
Chelsea

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

"It feels so comforting to hide away and
disappear.
Under my blankets and under my pillow,"
really loved these lines, such feeling, many just feel like doing sometimes.

[JennaMarie]

I really like the style and line breaks of the poem, they create a unique feel. It may be dark but it's still accessible and can relate to multiple situations. You've also done a good job at capturing an emotion accurately while still being concise and to the point. Good job, and keep up the good writing!

[silentpoet]

Sounds like a feeling of emotion that everyone In life has at least a time or two.
some may not admit to It but I know I have. I like this poem..

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Sharks or no sharks, this poem relates to so much more:) Great piece!

[Janna Nicole]

This is kind of dark, but very good.
I enjoyed it from the start.
"I just don't want to be here. I just don't want to hide."

[FugitiveBalloons]

Thanks for all the wonderful comment...Actually made my day. I was really nervous putting this up only because It's really depressing but most of what I write is....I kinda use it as a venting think when I'm mad or upset. Anyways thank you all!