Inside the shoebox!

To the girl on the wheelchair

Freedom sat there quietly

Inside the shoe-box!

She wondered how it looked like

But dared not to open it

Perhaps the wait was for the right time

Or for some miraculous hoax!

She stared at her broken watch

Million glances weren't enough!

Yet she fixed her eyes on the dial

At least twice it showed the correct hour

When will it state the precise moment?

Confinement was becoming tough!

Could she break the barriers?

Crack the locks?

Could she jimmy the doors of slavery?

She'd liberate herself someday, she thought

Freedom sat there quietly waiting

Inside the shoe-box!

Author's Note

Hope she finds her freedom one day :)
All reviews and comments are appreciated :)

Reviews

[ANTO]

The second stanza is a delight - the way you entwined a common phrase about a tautology of broken watches around someone waiting for a different time other than the two 'correct times', which conveyed the feeling of being boxed/confined so so well. Very inventive FE.
And yet the act of looking (at the watch) conveys expectant miraculous hope.

You really carried this off with dignity dear writer.

Loved "...jimmy the doors of slavery..." - just amazing phrasing in these oft-times lazy dayz
;)

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for the awesome insight ANTO. Means a lot :)

[SuspectGray]

I would use the word "what" instead of "how" in the second line.

Nice treatment of a difficult subject. There is a sense of timelessness coupled with emptiness that this poem reveals. I hope I don't feel that way in my lifetime. ( : O )

[Frozen Eyes]

I agree with your "what" instead of "how" viewpoint but I'll stick to "how" just because I feel my protagonist knows what is inside the shoe box, its her freedom, but she wants to know how would liberty feel :)
Thank you for reading and reviewing :)

[closed]

very humanitarian
and from a literary standpoint

this kind of poetry is what i've sought to go for moreso than the self-centered approach that i do too often

awesome message with this

-Dream

[Frozen Eyes]

Im glad you liked the message. I believe in survival, fit or unfit that is for us to decide :) thank U for reading & reviewing
- Frozen

[Mayank]

creative, motivational and superb imagery!

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U :)

[Jamestown]

I am so thankful that I'm not confined to a wheelchair and lack the simple
freedoms we have and take for granted:( I too pray that this person finds there
freedom in that box! Great write, wording, format, message
all fantastic! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Frozen Eyes]

ThanK u for connecting to the thought James. :)

[Jamestown]

Your welcome, very classy of you to bring this awareness up!

[Frozen Eyes]

Thanks again, My little way to contribute to His greater plans :)

[Gee]

Great title to go with the pic.Enjoyed the read

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U Gee :) Hope you'll come back for more :)

[Gee]

Just like Arnie,"I'll be back"

[Amare]

Plan to read more of your work. Appreciate the space you leave for readers to make inferences. No overkill/over-telling. Interesting writing voice.

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for connecting :) Keep reading :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

The energy of this poem just pinned me down and I couldnt get up.
Its somewhat of a claustrophobic feeling. well stated and full of heart.

[Frozen Eyes]

Glad the piece did that to you, I mean tht was the idea :) Thank U for reading :)

[AaronFreitas]

Very good creative work. I enjoyed this piece :)

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for reading & liking it :)