GoodBye

People change with every season...

Once upon a December, a slice of sunlight entered my room. The chill of winter and the warmth of sun made me shiver in excitement. It reminded me how you would sneak up on me and hold me in your arms. How your breath mixed with mine and the aroma made me go crazy for your touch. How your fingers pampered my soft cheeks, how your wet lips would whisper little nothings in my ear and vanish in the alley of my neck. How your hands would trace a way from the top to toe of my body. And then.. how you would make me feel like the most wanted lover in the world...

The old calendar was to be discarded soon. It was New Year's eve and everything around was gaining color,only my life was monochromatic. I kept staring at our memories for hours and failed to realize how time sped up and an year was over.

And then January was void. The blood through my veins ran because they are programmed to do so. Not a word from you. Neither was I strong enough to reach for you.

February sparked hope, I had shed my cocoon and agape with amazement you stared at me. My ecstasy knew no boundaries. I began to believe the harsh winter was going to be over soon.. Spring kissing the air around. Your voice over the phone was a panacea to all my agonies.

As my heart was starting to feel the triumph just then,

the sunlight vanished, it was dark and cold again, I shivered but this time not in excitement. The emptiness engulfed all warmth and enthusiasm I had regained. I was no more at peace. I could see the storm building up on the horizon. I was scared. I was lonely!

I could hear your imaginary footsteps fade in the oblivion...

Once upon a March, when the winter had had its turn for the year and early summer was crawling in I realized it wasn't just the winter saying "Goodbye".

Author's Note

Goodbyes r mostly unpleasant, but sometimes necessary.
Hope U'll like it :)

Reviews

[ANTO]

FE - this is more like prose - it has such lovely filigree but certain words and phrases then bring it to the realm of story, I feel. Words like 'alley' - phrases/imagery such as 'aroma (of mixed breaths)' - didnt really work for me here. Also this line I felt was staid -"The blood through my veins ran because they are programmed to do so." - maybe could be made more human e.g. "The blood through my veins ran only because nature dictates." or "as nature intended". Also too many lines started with 'I'.

Having said that (all that) - the sentiment and the bitter-sweetness carried this wonderfully. The feeling of loss is very well conveyed. The image choice is ideal and adds to the whole ambience of this piece. I felt this deeply. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank you for the review.
About the line you mentioned, I agree "nature inteded" would hv been appropriate, but I chose what I wrote only for one reason, the wound the protagonist got made her mechanical and machines are "programmed"
Thank you for reading :) your views mean a lot :)

[ANTO]

You're welcome. I did suspect that they had been rendered as such ergo programmed word but still think that line could be improved and yet still include the zombie/robot-like implication. I think its the word 'programmed' that irks.
Anyways - thanks for the appreciation. :)))

[Frozen Eyes]

I'll definitely think about it and make amends :) suggestions are always helpful :)

[Zorrin86]

Excellent piece of writing. Every ending is a new beginning, as the adage goes.

[Frozen Eyes]

THank U :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

I felt as if I was watching a person express themself until i saw the lines "The blood through my veins ran because they are programmed to do so." Now, that really turned the piece on its head. I felt as if my eyes were deceiving me. What I thought was a person was at that moment was actually a bio-robot. I saw the person go from human to machine as the heart beat without an expressed desire or even concern for it to. The person was not living...simply going through the motions. It was like a curse to see the torture of it all. It was strange watching the body and soul drift apart and synch together throughout this work...to see an animated body go from alive to lifeless, but never stop functioning.
The transitions were the bread and butter.

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for reading between the lines :)

[Mayank]

I liked the details you have used here, the content is neither too dramatic nor emotionless. It just a very realistic goodbye which is unpleasant.

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for the review :)

[Christopher Casper]

I'm terrible at goodbyes.The emptiness from a goodbye such as this is overwhelming. Though as you say, they are necessary at times. When the sentiments aren't felt and given equally and it only becomes a one-sided affair, it's time to end it. If you don't, it will only eat away at you from inside until you do. Thank you for sharing with me.

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for reading between the lines :) your views mean a lot :)

[AaronFreitas]

Goodbyes are definitely unpleasant but sometimes it works out for the best. It's not always easy because its comfortable to know what we feel... saying good bye to someone is a new feeling of emptiness without that person regardless of a good feeling or bad. Good work I enjoyed it :)

[Frozen Eyes]

Thank U for connecting.. :)

[Jamestown]

Amazing writing and pictures fits perfectly, you are one of my favorites!
This was so well written, I was entangled in every word, it made me want to hug you, lol
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed, PTL!!!

[Frozen Eyes]

Aww thats very sweet of you and thank U for liking it so much *hugs* :)