A Confusing Love

Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes I want him, other times I don’t.
At points, my mind feels clouded and I feel numb.
My confusion then explodes.

He calls me his, but I don’t get it.
My dreams are speaking but I won’t listen.
I stay clouded in this confusion, sticking to ignorance is bliss.

Am I wrong for all this waiting, dropping hints but never saving?
I see my kids but I don’t notice that my fog is slowly clearing.
I’m afraid to see the picture, I don’t want to hang it on my wall.
I know my mom will ask where it came from, but I know she’s not ready to hear.

Sometimes I hear the sweetness, the feelings in his voice.
But then I remember that what’s online just can’t be.
In the morning I know I’ll wake up and realize it’s a dream.
But I know just how this ends, in a few years, it’ll come to be.

I’ll never tell my mama.
And my daddy doesn’t need to know.
But since this is a dream, I’ll enjoy this sweet online love.
And when the sun comes to peek, I’ll wake up from my dream.
A name on my lips, and my heart skipping beats.
Knowing that in a few years, this dream will no longer be a dream.

Goodbye, my sweet confusion and cloudy times.
I see clearly who I’ve been trying to deny.
But still, I force the fog into my vision.

But can I still want him?
Even like this?
Damn this confusion, maybe ignorance really is bliss.

Author's Note

I wrote this a few years ago when I found myself falling in love with someone I'd never met, and never really seen. This poem holds all my confusion, longing, and the budding love I hold for him.

Reviews

[Ivory]

This is such a real piece. Sometimes you can get lost in a persons words and who you envision them to be. Very good piece.

[SweetWriter88]

Thank you. :)

[Brennon]

Perfect. Completely perfect.