I breathe Helpless

This is my description of struggles with asthma, and other problems with my lungs. I feel pain deep within.

For many years I have dealt with this pain in my chest.

Many years overwhelmed by the lack of rest.

 

Years overwhelmed I slowly die.

Overwhelmed I’m living in this worldly lie.

 

I’m living and still searching for healing.

Living and searching for some new feeling.

 

And searching lost tired and confused.

Searching lost within all and I now feel used.

 

Lost within pain everyday I am.

Within pain I live for my name is San.

 

Pain I have to overcome one day.

I have to move forward, faith in God I pray.

 

Have to reach for life for every breath is a tease.

To reach a cure before one day, I am blown away with the breeze. 

-San 2010 (Oct)

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, what do you think of the dialogue.

Reviews

[Bubo]

As a child I suffered terribly asthma, and it is crippling in every area of your life,you just want the pain and lack of breath to leave you, you feel half dead, no energy, and no zest for life.......you have caught that in your words perfectly, I spent so much time doing little to nothing, and it is one of the most crippling feelings.
I hope by now your situation has eased.

[Gedalya]

I see more than asthma Involved in this poem.

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a. Sanzei]

Indeed Gedalya. I saw it that way when I wrote it but I like to let the reader interpret and relate with themselves.

[BenightedWhispers]

I loved the imagery and how the reader can truly feel your struggle. This would be good to help others with asthma.

You say to ignore grammar problems, but this one is a pet peeve of mine. Ignore if you wish. You should not start a sentence with "And". That is all ^^

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a. Sanzei]

Yes you are right Shin, I should not start a sentence with "And". This is one of my experimental writings. If you Look close you will see I did this because I was following a pattern. In this one I begin the next line with the second word from the previous all the way down. Thanks for the comment. :)

[Andrew S. Loveland]

Sorry, but I have to chip in on this one also as it is a pet hate of mine when people are admonished for beginning sentences with 'And'.

There is no grammatical rule which states that you cannot begin a sentence with 'and' or any other conjunction for that matter. This is simply 1970's classroom folklore that has somehow survived intact to this day.

'And' is a co-ordinating conjunction. A subordinating conjunciton like 'because' is equally permissible at the beginning of a sentence.

Although conjunctions are primarily used to link clauses within a sentence, placing a conjunction at the beginning provides greater weight to the idea about to be expressed.

I should also point out that Nabokov, Einstein and P.G. Wodehouse were not averse to throwing in a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence for this very reason.

AND why not! :)

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a. Sanzei]

Thank you Andrew. Well said! :)

[BenightedWhispers]

Good points all. I feel more societal with Conjunctions at the beginning of a sentence. It just throws me.

[Khalab Darnell]

Being an Asthmatic this poem really touches base with me, but there is also an emotionally distressed feel to it leaving me to ponder certain events that have been revitalized in my memory. This leaves me to believe that the pain you speak of could be emotional, mental, as well as physical. Masterpiece none the less. Bravo

[Debbie]

I like how you have choosen to be concise.

[M J Moore]

I like that, though you say describe the pain in the story notes, the poem itself does not name the pain, so that the reader can interpret as he likes, and thus he is able to put his own pain into it. Makes it universal. Nicely done.

[Nautili]

Good depiction of the powerlessness one can feel with asthma, as if your body has betrayed you by making the expression "as natural as breathing" unnatural, a struggle, a series of gasping, and a lifetime of grasping..... for normalcy.

[Leran Vakem]

A very nice piece. Glad I got to read it

[San Herman Lopez a.k.a. Sanzei]

Thank you.

[kittykat]

as too life is nothing but a daming pain.
The world feels no love in all of this I myslef have trouble with breathing...
this is a very well

[Kia]

Very well described...goes to show that poetry is an outlet for any problems we may have or for inspiration for others....good job

[Ruby Moon]

i think that you can sum it up with the last two sentence but the rest do help add to it...