From ashes a Phoenix will

I'm trying new things, work in progress...

 

I was here in the dawn, and my spirit will burn till the end.

  From flames I spawn, for from my ashes I transcend…

 

 

 

I was by the garden when Adam was banished, that is when the burn came from within.

  My thoughts were anguished with his thoughts of sin…

 

 

 

I rise from the flames of those before me to one day be the ashes for those who follow.

  From high above I will always see, and trails of knowledge I leave for tomorrow…

 

 

 

I regenerate from all the pains of life and move forward to become complete in flight.

  My will continues in thee afterlife… For I am the fire of the sun and the light...

 

 

 

I resurrect with the glory of light to guide my path.

  From the skies I interject folklore, sparking life once again from thee aftermath...

 

 

 

I become a symbol of inspiration to all that could see the trails of knowledge I leave.

 My myth becomes my classification. So free I will be, until my flames unweave.

 

 

 

I am born to lead without a choice, for I am one with he…

  From ashes I again raise my voice, as I am reborn within history.

 

 

 

I

 M...

 

 

(too)

 

Rise…

 

   12/02/08 -San

 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, what do you think of the dialogue, etc.

If, I'm to Rise. If,I'm,If,I'm...

Reviews

[Nautili]

San, you did realize that you had IF I'M (to) RISE? How cool is that? Good work, really great pattern......love the phoenix rising from the ashes allegory.....really fits where you are right now, rebuilding your life, creating new pieces, exploring new horizons! keep up the good work-some great lines in there,one example---I rise from the flames of those before me to one day become the ashes for those who follow.......great rendition of the cycle of life!
jo

[Misty Blue Eyes]

i saw the "IF Im" right away that was such a cool thing to do........love this so much

[Liza]

beauty from ashes
freedom from fire
loved it
inspirational
thank u 4 sharing

[Tomás Ó C..]

I like the imagery of the phoenix... we all crash and burn through lifes heartaches... but we must rise from the ashes of our emotions and begin again...

[Alice Oiseau]

I love the comparison to a phoenix.
The poem read with ease, and followed a nice pattern, resulting in the cool forming of "If" and "I'm" to rise. Creative, and well penned.
Your reference to the Garden of Eden led me to believe the phoenix was God. At first, I thought maybe it was merely a Christian, though after reading the poem fully, I concluded on God. If that was your aim, excellent. As I said, the comparison to a phoenix is great and I love it. What I find further interesting is that phoenix tears heal a wound. If the phoenix were to be representative of God, it could be seen that He heals 'wounds' too.
Clever, clever.
Cheers.

[TL Boehm]

exquisite. I'm three months behind in reviews sigh. But it was a pleasure to read these couplets - this piece has that epic ring to it - staying true to the mythos of the Phoenix. Timeless write. Well done.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Great presentation and language... the phoenix is the elbelm of my town of Tullamore, that rose from the ash after being burned down in the worlds first air disaster... a hot air ballon crash in 1770 or so...

[Angela]

Nicely done. There is power and determination in your words. Sometimes we have to fall, so that we can remember where we came from and be more determined to overcome the obstacles standing in our way and get to where we want to be. Good Job!!

[C.L. Chandler]

another great poem! and again i love the structure. it's really cool how you weave concepts throughout your poetry. nice touch.

[Wycked]

Great Job...I love the renewal and rebirth theme...The Phoenix is a very powerful symbol ...I love your work very unique.

[me]

I notices the I-F I-M thing, that's pretty cool. Grammer in a poem is normally not as much of an issue as it is in a poem. There are a couple of lines I find difficult to read and understand...From the skies I interject within the story, as I ride this fiery warpath�what? But I reread it again, and I am just an idiot sometimes :) I love this poem. I love how you made it work with the rhyming and the beginning...great job altogether