I am... Yo soy...

I wrote this while working on a hip-hop rhyme...

 

Finally…

 

I’ve arrived,

 

Since the beginning of time you could see the signs.

I was meant to rhyme and with words, steadily I climbed.

While silently watching from behind the lines, I am three divided by nine, heavenly divine.

 

I am Bro Rican San, born for the land, here to give a hand to my fellow man.

Understanding that those with the right words will always have the upper hand.

 

Now it’s time to move the sands, in a new direction.

I am reflection, my one true connection.

The mental infection of revelation, all within the beats…true sensation.

I’m ready to move the feet of a nation, away from this mental starvation.

This has become my truth...My proclamation...

 

I proclaim me… lyrically I was always meant to be. 

 

So I became molded in pain, I had to find a way to train the brain.

And so I had to find a way, not to go insane.

This pain made me learn and slowly earn a place in which I would have no shame.

I learned to maintain, I’ve learned how to gain.

 

Now I flow like a true natural, looking to patrol trying to save souls.

 

 

Many lost at all cost I can no longer pause.

 

 

With Gods touch I will succeed with his words I am freed.

 

 

So all over the place these words I blaze, ready to amaze those in a haze.

 

 

Those looking to escape the maze I reach, these words I preach.

 

You become what you surround yourself with, a fact far from a myth. 

 

React take part within the act. This bull isn’t only black or Latino.

It’s for all those walking con el’ paso fino. 

African, Indio y Chino con savor de tocino.

Yo soy el que vivo, el gran sobrino.

 

El primo que es hermano con celebro sano hablo.

 

En que estado estamos?

 

 

No se'... Who is it?

 

Now I know, now I go back to the land were my blood is part of the sand.

 

A true Taino el hijo de las isla. La del encanto, que quiero tanto.

Por eso mi nombre es Santo, San German man of the land, of hope.

I throw my rope and pull you in. I’ve realized together we win.

 

I rise to one day be wise, open up your eyes.

 

For too long, have you been hypnotized...

 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, what do you think of the dialogue, etc

Reviews

[Angela]

I like this San, very much. There is a lot of depth and expression in your soul longing to be set free. Go with that sense of freedom and you will go far.

"Now it's time to move the sands, in a new direction.
I am reflection, my one true connection.
The mental infection of revelation, all within the beats�true sensation.
I'm ready to move the feet of a nation, away from this mental starvation.
This has become my truth...My proclamation... "

These lines speak volumes to the reader. Very nicely done. Overall, an excellent piece. Good work! Thanks for the read request. I am truly not disappointed.

[Anne Martin]

I don't know what you mean by dialogue. I don't see any here. It's more of a monologue. Knowing that you have requested this review from me, I can only assume that you know I'm not a big fan of rhyme and especially non-metric rhyme. Having skimmed the other reviews, I feel out of place here. I find random insistent internal rhyme annoying. I would rather seen you explore more complex word play.

Saying that, it's a style, especially found in reggae, rap, and Caribbean word poetry. That's not my thing, but if that is the paradigm you are aiming for, then you have succeeded.

[Laura V]

Very expressive, very fluid. I enjoyed it a lot!
Thanks for sharing.

[Rhine Wolf]

Wow! what a powerful piece!!

loved the word choice and the flow was just right, it takes courage to mold yourself to someone that when you look back you can be so proud.

Blessed be,
Fallon

[MagiCrystal]

Bendito... que si se entiende... como hablas el espanol .. rapido... bueno... hazi que a darle gas u sigue no pares....hola como estas que me encanto lo de los latinos... hottie and all.. salsa... que mas

Lindo poema...o novela.... o un play... que mas

Magic

[Amanda]

con estas palabras si puedes alcanzar el cielo!

nicely done, San and i am glad that you are going in a better direction.

yo soy tambien y eso lo sabes....gracias, mi amigo :)

A xox

[Wycked]

I agree it looks like you are growing away from the pain and saying I am....great job...I love the rhyming with in. Great job.

[Nautili]

you definitely are growing from your pain......keep using your rhymes and society will gain!

[Blackbirdsong]

I didn't see any glaring grammar problems, but what I have to say is how much I loved your use of internal rhyme. I know how hard it can be to do internal rhyme, so that really caught my attention. Well done.

[Jessica M.]

I really like the flow,
although the form kind of throws it off.
You weave your words nicely.
Good job.