The Artist

I challenge was given to me, and it became much more...

 

The sun begins to set, and I am tired. A nice subtle breeze sooths my lightly burnt face. It does not help me much. Every step the cart seems to get heavier. Thirst seems to rip my throat every time I swallow.  Bao and Xang pull the carts just ahead.  They are both older than me. They are also tired, but always have interesting conversation to ease the trip. They say I’m immature so they rarely speak to me, not even in the marketplace… My arms and legs are numb, and I feel dizzy at times, but I will not quit.  I have to stay close. Today I barely sold anything in the marketplace. Papa will not be pleased. Bao and Xang sold well as always. Papa says I will never be good at anything. Ever since mama died papa has stayed home while we go work at the market. He says that once I am older I will have to stay and work the farm. He says I’m not good for anything.  I miss mama…She would always hold me and tell me not to listen to my papa. I would always draw pictures for mama. Mama would shower my face with kisses, and tell me I would be a great artist one day. She always made me feel so special and talented. I miss her so much… She said I would be great one day…

 

I don’t know anymore…I am so hungry my stomach seems to scream with anger.

Papa says I always cry and complain like a little girl, and that really hurts. One day I will prove him wrong. My brothers always make fun of me and say that I’m the little sister they never had, I feel alone… I need to keep up. Cold sweat begins to come past my forehead and down my neck. My knees want to buckle. I must keep moving Bao and Xang are getting further away from me. Bao, Xang wait up! I hear laughter in the distance. Wait up you guys! I’m so tired… The sun is now almost gone and violets and reds fill the sky, as birds fly across the vast horizon… I feel every rock beneath my feet, every bump that the cart hits makes my bones shiver with exhaustion. Bao and Xang are so far ahead they seem to disappear into the darkness. I continue to pull. It would have helped if I would have sold some of this merchandise. Papa would always say this is the price I must pay for not selling as well. “You must carry the heavier load”…The thought alone makes me angry inside. Sometimes I find myself wishing that it was my father and brothers that died. I’m so tired.  I must keep walking…I close my eyes and continue pulling…

 

Suddenly I see myself from a distance behind my two brothers pulling my cart, as if from far away. It is almost as if I’m looking at a still portrait. We seem frozen in time. I stop moving, but I keep my eyes closed and try to reach out in front. I touch something solid, something cold. I am no longer tired, I am no longer hungry and thirsty or even sad. Suddenly a gentle hand touches my shoulder. And I open my eyes…Where am I? Come along my sunshine.  I want you to show me other beautiful pieces. My mother’s voice is as gentle as if a breeze blowing in my ear. “Mom is that you?” I ask.  

 

           Tears begin to run down my face with joy. “Of course, who else could it be my son?” She replies softly while stroking my face.  “Mom, how did I get here? Xan are you okay? You own this museum. This is one of your many exhibits. I don’t understand, what happened to father and my brothers?” I asked, not taking a breath.  “Oh my son, your father and brothers died many years ago in the war…” 

 

Xan looks at his mother. “I don’t understand, how come I don’t remember anything?” He then holds his mother close and tight. “Mom I missed you so much, I felt so alone for so long!” I exuberantly say.  “My child I have always been here, and I will always be by your side.  Your father and your brothers would have been proud of the success you have become. Your father loved you so much. The war brought too much pain and suffering to so many, but he would have been proud, as I am sure he is. You have become a great man and true visionary. An artist…”  She says softly.  She kisses me gently on my cheek and holds my head so that I may look in her eyes…As I stare into her teary eyes a subtle light begins to shine from behind. More and more it becomes hard for me to see, but I still feel my mother’s hands on my face as tears roll down my face. The light becomes so bright that I am forced to close my eyes.

 

Feeling weightless and numb, I am afraid to move. And as if falling in an endless pit, I reach for something to hold onto that is no longer within reach. I scream out my mother’s name, but there is no reply. “Xan wake up! Wake up Xan!” Father yells.  Xan hears his father’s voice at a distance.  The ground feels cold and callous under me, as I open my eyes to see stars in the night gleaming. “Son wake up, are you ok?” He asks, looking confused.  “Father what happened?” I hurriedly ask.  “You must have fainted from exhaustion.” He said.  Bao and Xang stand next to each other with worried looks upon their faces. Father pulls me towards him and holds me tight.  He begins to weep. “I am so sorry my son I have pushed you near death.” He tearfully cries.  Tears roll from his face to mine. “I promised your mother I would take care of you.” He says in a trembling voice.  “Father, it is okay, mama said it is all okay.” I replied, trying to reassure him.  

 

Father then looked into my eyes and smiled. “Yes my son…everything is going to be okay.”  This my father says, with the utmost of calm in his weary voice.  Just then, a gentle breeze touched my face as if mother caressed me with her soft and gentle hands.  Suddenly, I was filled with an inner peace I’ve never felt before.  I knew everything was... Everything was going to be okay…I had found my sanctuary.

© 2007 Santos Lopez  -Sansee 12/31/12

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems etc.

Reviews

[Miss Shea]

...wow. That's beautiful. Very mystical, dreamy. Was this based on a dream?

[Angel Bird]

Wow, what a beautiful and touching story! Your writing is marvelous and grabs the readers full attention, and tickles his feelings very deeply. Great story! Looking forward to an other work of yours! I liked this one very much!