I can't take it.

As the title states, Trent can't take living anymore.

 I held the knife tightly in my left hand and a picture of me and my ex-girlfriend, Courtney in my right hand. Blood was dripping from my arm. My hands were smeared with blood. I picked up my cell phone and called her.

"What Trent? I'm busy."

"Come over... I need to show you something." I said with a whisper.

"Fine. Be there in a sec."

 

 We hung up together. I had to do this quickly. She lives right next door to me. I took my bloody left hand and wrote on the wall above me;

I did this because I love you.

 

The doorbell rang, but I ignored it. I stabbed the picture of us in the middle.

"I love you Courtney. With all my heart."

 

I took the knife and stabbed myself in the chest. The pain was inevitable. I was fading fast. I looked -with half closed eyes- to the door. It opened and there was Courtney.

 

The last noise I heard was her scream.

Reviews

[Que]

I really liked this, the way you wrote it really makes an impact on the reader - particularly the last line. I also like the layout of it.
One thing I think maybe you should fix is to add emotion. Of course, we can detect it, considering the situation, but you might want to add some more description of it, so as to make us feel what the character is feeling (though in this case it wouldn't be such a pleasant thing to feel, lol). In the way you wrote it, yes, I can very easily see the images in my mind, the details of the description making it all the more juicy, but it is just mildly flat. So yeah, I think if you add more emotion it will be absolutely great. (If you ever do - and I'm not saying that you actually should or 'have to', because this is your work after all, so you can do anything you want with it - please do tell me, because I would really like to read it again :) )
So anyway, that's all I have to say. Great job.
Cheers and have a good day.

[Sleepless]

wow ok this was awesome it took my breath away !

[Underestimated]

CHILLS CHILLS everywhere. I think my hair stood up like it was rubbed with a balloon. BEAUTIFUL. :-)

[Michael Thrower]

Hmmm. Pretty intense. Very emotional. I like how it was pretty fast-paced, but didnt leave out any important details. This is good. Very good.

[Chris]

Scripted drama... like the movie trailers... snippets of the highlights.

[I Shred This Cabbage]

very concise write. good flow and interesting use of punctuation.

[HeIsWe]

wow this is depressing, I really like it though

[blakjassy]

very dark and a bit disturbing but then i think that is what you hoped to achieve! As long as this is purely for the creative process and not a more sinister message!

[Katrina Crago.]

Dude, this is was depressing, but you did an amazing job, just amazing. As you know, I do prefer fluff over angst ;)