Lost Lover(5 Stages)

Intro 

Thought I was in love, so I fought for it..

Then come to find out the one I loved, 

wasn't the one I was with..

Confused huh? 

I tell myself I'm not the only one in this predicament..

But now alone i find myself asking, "which way should I have really went?"

1. Denial

Let me start the story over to tell you, 

I was already in the wrong..

met another girl while I was already in a happy home

But I don't blame myself, 

the heart wants what the heart wants..

I met a girl from your home town, while a million miles away.. 

And even when I found out, I just couldn't stay away, 

started hanging everyday, wasn't sex just enjoyed the company.. 

Never really felt bad until my situation went from two to three.. 

My friends said "you have two girlfriends'" 

jokingly..

But I just turned the other cheek..

Didn't think anything of it can't you see..

Until one day she didn't leave..

And my room was the place to be..

And the next morning is when she said those 3 words guys try to avoid... 

"What are we?"

2. Irritation, Annoyance, Impatience 

Avoiding the question as much as I could the weeks went by as I continued to lie.

To my girl,

To my friends,

To her,

And most of all,

Myself.. 

Realizing what's going on I finally had to let someone know so I went to the most level headed friend I know.. 

If you know me, you know who he is..

He laughed at my situation as I've been there many times before, but by the tone in my voice,

He could tell that this time was different..

But I can't just throw away 2 years, when we been through so much and survived, even through the distance..

Didn't come to a conclusion,

So this fight I was still losing..

My guys asking who I like more? 

couldn't find an answer, remained with the manners.. 

continued to be me, I cannot stagger..

When my girl calls ion answer.. 

smh..

What's going on..

Let me call her back..

3. Bargaining & Isolation

So she answers the phone crying and I'm in boyfriend mode, 

What's wrong?

She'll like "it's been 2 years but I gotta confess..

Now don't think I'm a hoe or cheating,

But I have been doing some creeping..

It ain't all bad but I just think that you should know..

I mean I just be asking for rides, 

and answering when they call my phone..

They buy me this, buy me that, 

But that's all and that's that..

I just couldn't hide it no longer, 

I can tell we are growing stronger 

and I just want your trust, it's a must.."

I say "baby you know I trust you..

Just chill that out before I cut you"

we laugh "everything will be okay"..

I hear a knock on my door, 

she's like "oh that must be one of your w****s" 

I'm like "nah but Ima work out lemme call you tonight, I love you".. 

I head to the door and you already know who it is.. And for the first time i feel guilty, its starting to kill me..

4. Development(Man up)

Weeks go by again, and it's summer now, a whole year.. 

If I didn't tell you before, she lives across the street 

and I decide to move on account of some things I've seen.. 

My homeboy comes down and we stay at her spot, 

Don’t know why I brought him into this, but it's to late to get out now.. 

I mess around and meet her mom.. 

"Why I do that"

She says I can tell you're a good guy

"Oh fr?"

Little did she know it was almost my time to go and the chapter of me and her daughter had to end..

I move away, don’t return her calls for a while, 

And some days no matter how hard, i don’t text back.

She’s pesting me knowing that's really not my style.

And asking what she did wrong so we can build back.

I ponder on using that “its not you its me” routine.

But in no scenario does that end without me getting slapped.

Someone told me “absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

It only took a month for me to ponder.

My girl comes down, so i stop that wonder.

But check your snap and see you’re not alone..

You’re not miserable,

And you’re not at home.

Thats not your walls,

And that someone else’s phone,

I see an Xbox.

And thats not something that you own.

Heart drops in my stomach..

Mind into the unknown.

5. Acceptance 

Did i think you were my property.

A person is something i cannot own.

So whys this so hard for me to accept you’re not sleeping alone.

When i wasn’t even there for you, worrying bout my own.

I finally hit you back… After months

Its too late you’re gone..

Now don’t be mistaken, I’m not even single or on my own.

Im really tripping this whole time,

Like men do. 

Having problems with my girl again, we down to the last straw and it broke, the home built is now back to two.

And I’m back to one. 

Friends asking do i miss her,

I say yes but talking about you.

And i know just from that sentence you may be confused.

But the whole time i was with her i was wishing it was you.

Now I’m waiting on the downfall of another man,

So my love for you can be proved.

So my love for you can stand. 

Not again but for real, and true. 

-DC