I stand alone

Ok i've just finnished writing this, so any comments on how to improve it would be good, also some ideas for a more suitable title would be good, as i just put this one on so i could post it!

 

To stand alone,

In the bitter cold,                   

And fell no warmth around.

 

To be surrounded by dark,

With no sound to hear,

Except my beating heart.                               

 

A shiver runs my spine,

Did I imagine that touch upon my arm,

That went as suddenly as it came.

 

I turn to see my company,

But to be left staring into the blackness,

 Wondering if I’m insane.

 

To suddenly be in the center of muttering voices,

That are loud but unclear,

But there intent is obvious.

 

Or at least I think it is,

They’re here to cause me pain,

Even though there is no malice in there mutterings.

 

I have to escape,

To be free from the desirer to be normal,

I have to jump.

 

As I leap into the pit,

I suddenly realize who they were…

All the people who ever loved me.

 

Only there to help,

But I had shut them out,

And because of my selfishness,

I was now lost forever,

And will always stand alone,

In the cold.

 

Reviews

[Rawhide]

You did a good job evoking the emotions of loneliness in the reader.

One idea for a different title, not necessarily more suitable, but different, would be I Stand Alone.