What have I to do with a Tree?

more play with word movement and stuff....experimenting

 

 

 

 

cut me in half

count my rings-

                   See

when I have frozen in fear

          when I have burned with passion           

                      when I have persevered through pain

           when I have borne fruit

                      when I have been bare and hopeless

         when I have been peeled and pierced               

when I have been dry and thirsty

                   then

give me new life

allow me to help

                    you

keep warm when it’s cold

           keep dry when rain, snow or ice falls

                         keep safe from that which means you harm

                                    I have been trained by my life

                         to persevere through pain and abuse

            now I am your shelter

now I am your tools

                    now

we are brothers                     

in struggle and rest

Reviews

[Kristina Moulaison]

I like this idea. I like the beginning...cut me in half, count my rings. Nice! The idea that we grow through our pain, our perserverance until we are big enough, strong enough to give shelter to another, that we thrive on love, like water. That we can become tools for another, useful due to our own struggles, you didn't explore that much, maybe worth expanding on. It's an interesting idea. This is good!

[_Stephen_]

Fantastic...

I really like this piece , huge fan of the strange format , personally i think it works well , i have used a kinda similar "free form form " in a few pieces .

I think the last bit of the poem, ties the themes or concepts that you introduced all together quite well .

Great Job ,

[Ellen Hammond]

You have a special talent for writing in interesting form. I like the tree metaphor, using the rings to sum up the stages of life laid bare so new life can spring forth. Very , very nice poem.