The Stranger- Chapter 17

What was the purpose of pride? And morals? They define a person, do they not? When one truly takes the time to reflect on it, it seems that morals and pride often get in the way of decision making, they cause people to deny the most effective strategies for survival. It was honestly time to put every focus on survival, not on emotions or pride, or morals. There was no longer any time for such things. There was a time I felt sorry for Wraith. I felt weariness with the people of my town. I felt sadness and affection for Kendell. I felt anger with Wraith and the boggarts. All of these feelings led me deeper and deeper into a mess I never wished. If anything was to happen, it was going to be with the mind only. My eyes slipped shut and I turned to lay on my back once more. For another very long time, I felt myself slowly growing accustomed to the lack of feelings in my heart. I felt so cold. So terribly cold, like my skin was made of ice and my blood had frozen in my veins. Something began to dance across my eyelids, the smallest pictures, and soon small sounds began to echo in my ears, sounding so far away. Feathers, voices, laughter. Happiness. Sunlight. It was not clear to me exactly what was happening, but the faintest of whispers between two people hissed in my mind, broken up and almost unintelligible, like trying to read the faded words of an old book,

“Hello, my dear… Been so long… Too long…”

“Indeed… Has… Where have… Been?”

The voices seemed to belong to a man and a woman. Whatever it was, the man’s voice caused a clenched feeling in me, as if it gripped what was left of my heart in a sort of animalistic possession. The voices continued, and slowly, the images in my mind grew more vivid. They began to illustrate the voices, but all that could be seen was the blaring sunlight and the outline of a man, a man with brilliant white hair, broad shoulders, and pale skin. He was wearing some sort of white tunic with elegant silver armor, a sword held in its hilt by his hip. Feathers so white and pure hung from his back to his ankles. All of this felt like I was looking into the memory of someone else, but I was taking their form. The sun was shining too brightly for me to see anything but his mouth and chin, which were lifted in a gentle smile. They began to move again, more whispers floating around me,

“It… Not important… Come… Come to me…” The man held his arms open, seemingly to me. Where was the woman? My eyes widened as I began to step forward. Slowly, my surroundings became clear in the corners of my eyes. A marble palace with no roof. Everything was bathed in light, shining like the stars. A marble fountain sparkled at the end of the room, crystal clear water pouring out. My thoughts were ripped away as I made contact with the man. My skin prickled and my chest filled with some foreign feeling, one I had never felt before. It felt so pure, so perfect, so right… As if a white rose had bloomed in my chest. The man pulled me into a gentle embrace, wings wrapped around me as he whispered into my hair,

“Never shall… leave you…”

“I hold… to that, my…” My lips moved of their own accord, moving even when no words were being spoken. If there was wind, it would seem that the wind was carrying some of the words away as my mouth moved. I looked up at him, and I could still not see all of his face, but his smile had left and was replaced with a grim line for a moment before spreading back into a smile. I felt my lips creep into a smile much in the same way, although inside my hollow heart grew this uneasy feeling that something was wrong. He leaned down, his lips so dangerously close, and they pressed so softly to mine just as I woke up. The shock, like lightning, spread through my whole body as my eyes flew open and met malicious red. I realized that the sun was setting as well, the very faint orange light gleaming into that red. Two arms covered with white fabric were on either side of my head, a body looming over me. Black hair spilled over onto my shoulders, and I finally focused on his face.

Wraith’s gaze bore into my eyes, so full of silent rage and misery. I could feel that rage and misery down on my chest, almost crushing me. His emotions were causing him to make foolish decisions as well. Because he could not let go of his past, he was to die one way or another, whether it be by Kendell, the war or execution. Dare say I, he was making everything worse for himself sevenfold. Even my feelings had not led me into such precarious situations. I let out a sigh as I stared into his eyes. They were like garnets. We stayed in that position for so long, him looming over me, us staring at each other. I watched, fascinated, as the rage and misery slowly ebbed from his eyes and was replaced with a mystified look, the painful pressure released from my chest and replaced by a sort of contented feeling. My eyes finally tore themselves away from his and my hand floated up, seemingly of its own will, to touch his neck. There was a small tremor that shot through my hand. I felt my brows furrow as my fingers ran over his smooth skin. He flinched against my touch but let me do as I pleased nonetheless. My fingers ran up his neck into his hair. Not a trace of fear or hatred was found in me as I felt the silky black locks. How could something so beautiful do such harm? Running my hands back down his neck, they made their way to his face, one running over his forehead as the other cupped his cheek. He raised his hand to hold mine in place, and my other hand finally rested on his shoulder. Wraith’s eyes closed for a moment, his thumb running over the back of my hand, before he threw my hand off and ran off the bed faster than the human eye could follow. I turned my head and saw him standing at the window, the moonlight shining down on him, giving him such an eerie glow. He leaned forward, his hands on the sill, and turned his head to the side, lips parting as he whispered,

“Why so indecisive?”

I sat dumbfounded before letting out a bark of laughter, “You dare say I am the indecisive one? Have you not tried to kill me several times, just to pull away?”

“And I have finally made my decision. I decided it was better to die than to lose what memory I have left of my old life…”

“Why wish for the memories of a life you can never have back? Do they not simply cause you more pain?”

He winced and chuckled, “They cause me more pain than you could ever imagine… Even still, the pain of the memories is small in comparison to the pain of my current life… I wish to live in the past, a place where the daggers do not cut so deep…”

My mouth remained open, but no sound came out. Wraith continued before I could find the words to speak,

“Even still, look at yourself. One moment you decide to ‘help’ me. The next you decide to hate me. Then you feel sorry again. And then you grow angry. You constantly flip between the two sides of the coin in such pointless conflict… Now you feel nothing. Why? Why do you feel nothing now?” Turning to me, I saw his face crumpled in confusion, felt his questioning mood in my chest, “Why do you touch me, if I am such a horrible beast? Why do you say such horrible things, just to turn around and act as if nothing happened?”

A gush of air flew out of my lungs as I decided to say something completely ridiculous, “I apologize. I apologize for saying such things. My petty anger got the best of me.”

He looked taken aback, shock flowing off him, “You… Apologize… To me?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, “Yes.”

“…That does not change what you’ve said.” Wraith glowered and stalked back over to me, “You hopelessly thing…” He stood before me and his hand came forth to grip my chin. I winced. His grip was all but gentle. “Your eyes are the most wicked green anyone could ever possess…” Wraith lowered his head and whispered in my ear, “They’re beautiful…”

He had loosened his grip enough for me to push his hand away, “What are you doing?”

Chuckling, Wraith moved away and lingered by the bed post. His emotions were constantly changing, going from shock to amusement as he spoke again, “Nothing, sweet Princess, you have no need to worry… As you know… I no longer…” Wraith chuckled again, but he sounded so senile, so disbelieving. The feelings radiating off him suggested he was laughing at himself, he was amused and in a state of self loathing at the same time.

Curiosity got the best of me, I wanted to know more about his life as an angel, I wanted to do anything to distract him from this poisonous blend of feelings, “Wraith…? What was your old love like?” I sat up against the pillows on the bed and looked at him with large, wondering eyes, ones I had used on others so many times as a child to get what I wanted.

He stopped chuckling and looked at me, and then he smiled. Not an evil smile, or a taunting one, nor smug or cold, but a gentle smile… A smile exactly like the one of the man in my dream, the man that I could not clearly see. His eyes glazed off in memory, a painful contentment sweeping through him as he spoke,

“She was… Perfect… In every way you could possibly imagine…” Wraith paused for a long moment, and I moved over on the bed, the chain around my collar dragging along. I patted the spot next to me and he stared at my hand before stalking over and sat next to me on the bed, propped up as I was against the pillows, putting my chain over his lap and playing with it. He wet his lips and began again, “When I was an angel, she would always be waiting for me in her cage, grinning like a fool whenever I came to her.”

“Cage…?”

“She never left the palace she stayed in, many knew her name, but only I and a few others knew her face. She liked being alone, shut away from others, and the only person she ever wanted in her palace was myself, not even the guards that would come every now and again to see if she needed anything. She relished time alone to think about the human world, and usually spent long periods of time playing her harp and listening to the water trickling out of the fountain she loved so much.

“She was so gentle… Wise… And incredibly caring. When a dove would fly down from the open roof, she would sing to it, smooth its feathers and put it on her fountain to drink. So full of love, she was. I miss her… I miss her terribly… Could I change anything in my existence, it would be making the choice to leave her and all of Heaven.”

I watched him close his eyes as he became lost in memory. His eyebrows furrowed, his lips curving down into the smallest of frowns. Mystified, I watched his eyes open again and a single black tear roll down his cheek, and I felt a twinge of nostalgic sadness from him.

“Wraith-“

“Use my real name from now on.”

I blinked at him for a moment, “But would that make you uncomfortable at all…?”

“No. Please, use it.”

He said please. Never did I think manners could come from that demon. This was a rare moment indeed. I decided I should call him that, but I would always know him as Wraith either way. I swallowed before speaking again, “Atael,” he stiffened, “Why did you want to become a demon?”

“…I was deceived… Seduced into a power-hungry state… And I will kill the one who seduced me, even if I am only moments from my death. I will do it.” Wraith clenched his fists around my chain, angry determination flooding him. My dormant heart betrayed me, coming alive again to feel the slightest bit of pity for Wraith. I pushed it away, and asked a question that had been eating at me for a long time,

“Are you truly a demon? You seem more an angel still, trapped in a body of the damned.”

Wraith chuckled, his voice rough, “Yes, I am truly a demon. And you should fear me more than anything in this world at the moment.” He looked at me with his intimidating red eyes, and I struggled to stay calm under such a gaze. Lips parting, he brushed the bottom lip with his almost serpent-like tongue before speaking again, “But you show me no fear… You call me a trapped angel, as if all the crimes I committed to humans in your home town were forgotten…”

“You hurt many, you did horrible things… However, I cannot hold a grudge against you any longer. It’s most unproductive.”

“Unproductive? Not out of kindness, do you dissolve your anger, nor for a clean conscious, but because it’s unproductive?”

“Yes. I do not plan to stay with you. You should know this,” looking him directly in the eyes, I whispered, “There are things I must attend to, that are a greater priority than humoring you. But while you keep me here, I might as well humor you, right?”

He stared at me, and croaked, “You feel nothing now… I feel nothing from you… What about your angel? Where have your feelings for him gone?”

“They remain here,” I tapped my chest, slightly more revealed than I was used to in my dress, “They will always remain here. Right now, it’s just best to keep these things out of the way of my mind. No thinking can come clearly when emotions are in the way.”

Wraith slowly reached out a hand and placed it on my chest, the contact sending a tremor through me. He looked at me and whispered, “Always, you say. Those feelings will always be there… Those are the exact words she said while I was still in Heaven.” Through his hand, I could feel his defiled soul, and I could feel it bending in pain. “You said you would humor me… But you won’t. You said you would help me as well. You went back on your word.” Wraith turned away from me and got off the bed, walking swiftly towards the door. He opened it and stopped, turning his head to the side, “In the morning, you will wake early, and Marb will let you use the washroom. There is something I want to show you tomorrow.” With that, he closed the door, and I listened to his footsteps as he strode down the hallway.

Author's Note

Last one for today..