Stronger

I will achieve the joy that I deserve.

I learnt my finest lessons from the daily drunken sessions,
Wet my taste for introspection in the search for some direction,
But encountered imperfection which explained every rejection,
That I'd seen,
Ignored the tension within me and by extension, I receded,
Never mentioned tearing seams until the edges started bleeding,
But these days,
My past's concealed by a heat haze,
And I can only grasp at semi-facts that still bring me pain,
These shards of shattered glass from a window memory-stained,
Which seem to fade so fast, refuse to last, and can't be regained,
But I will not attach myself to the chains which I once trapped myself within,
We're all capable of change;
Just need a reason to begin,
Well I am sick and tired of fighting with my blood and bones and skin,
And I think that's a damn good reason why I owe myself a win,
Owe myself those simple sins,
And owe myself the chance to live again,
So f**k the fear of change, f**k the absence of emotions,
F**k despair and f**k disdain because I'm basking in the notion,
That the years of pointless pain were barely droplets in the ocean,
Of my brain,
A chasm so deep and beautiful in it's darkness that I assumed my suffering was just another part of who I am,
But I was wrong, now I'm empowered to demand a life that satisfies the simple needs of such a complex man,
Between the lines there is no need to read;
I'm proud of who I am,
And I am getting stronger every day,
In every way I can.