Despair

23 years a slave to this life that I hate,
Yet I still make mistakes that are exactly the same
As they were when I was 16,
You can dream but I know you won't miss me,
Spent far too long raping my brain with this history of pain
And of love that I can never ever hope to feel again,
Lord above, grant me freedom from the way that the rope seems to sway away from me,
Constantly,
I can train every day but I will always fail to be
The kind of person that my stupid brain would want to see so desparately,
I'm endlessly contained by my disdain for the way
With which you can engrain your pain into desire to agree,
With a mind so blind you can't truly agree with ANY side,
But here is mine;
You'll never understand the stance you take until you're entertwined with it.