It's Time

What I can't say in person. :o(

For over two years,

I have kept silent, hiding my emotions and hoping that my feelings for you would pass. I remained silent to you as you showed an interest in a dear friend of mine, and he shared by having a interest in you even though he was still going through the final stages of his divorce. He knew how I felt for you, and yet, he could not stop the attraction that he, too, had for you within. I told him to go for you, even though I wanted to go for you myself. Yet, you chose another man beyond.

The man you chose was your boyfriend for at least two years, and, in that time, became your fiance for a while. I have truly forgotten how much time has passed and how long you had been with him. I was there with you, accidentally through text messaging, right after you both decided to seperate. I understood your feelings because I had felt them for the woman that I had recently loved and lost. I tried to console you and include you in my life. I tried to make you feel better about yourself. It tried to open up - hoping all the while that you would notice me. Yet, I don't think that you did. I don't think that you have or possibly ever will.

Sometimes, I feel ugly. Sometimes, I wonder why the woman that I loved, as of four months ago, failed to love me in the end. I wonder why you don't notice me too. Sometimes I cry. I'm 37 years old. I'm too old to feel this way.

I wish that you would give me a chance.
I wish that you would notice me.
I wish that you would at least be my friend.

Most of all...

I wish that I could tell you all this in person
I don't want to hide anymore.

I wish that I could tell you all of this in person
No matter what it costs me
And set myself free

Reviews

[TP LaRose]

Oh my, that was wonderful in such a painful way. To write out ones feelings is a powerful release but yes, sometimes not enough. It sounds so familiar to me. Your writing was real and painful and if it couldn't release all your emotions it is at least a therapy.
I invite you to read a piece of mine called Shattered. I think you could possibly relate.

yours....TP...Poetess