Childhood

Poem I wrote about childhood for my creative writing class. This poem was influenced by Etta James song titled, "Rather Go Blind".

Childhood

Childhood is a fascinating place isn’t it?

It’s a place where imagination is more real than reality, its’ a place that embodies truth, belief trumps the impossible, and your eyes, well your eyes… they see beauty everywhere and in everything.

Childhood is an amazing place isn’t it?

It’s a place where ice cream never tasted sweeter and feathers have never made you more ticklish, where playgrounds are castles, swimming pools are oceans, and being wrapped in a towel can make you fly, a place you can disappear underneath a blanket, and experience true freedom by running in a field of grass.

 It’s a place you laugh when people say, “forever doesn’t exist,” because you know it does, you felt it when you were in your parents arms, and you feel invincible because you know pain will never be stronger than their kiss.

It’s a place where discovering something new is inevitable, where learning makes you feel strong, where laughing is contagious, where the sun never shined so bright, and the rain never felt so relaxing.

It’s a place where your favorite song takes control of your body, a place where everyone notices you and praises your every achievement.

“You’re so smart, you’re so strong, and you are the best!”

Childhood is a trip, isn’t it?

I mean, it’s a place where love is pure and powerful; where fantasies can’t hide, and dreams are always only one step away, a place where saying simple words like when I grow up before anything make’s anything feel possible.

Where Santa Clause has cookies waiting for him, where losing a tooth is special, where father time never bothers to show his face, mother nature makes you feel safe, problems and worries are never seen, hate is unrecognizable, and questions are endless.

Childhood is a snapshot though isn’t it?

For real though, looking back…..how many times have you wished you could go back to that place?

Me? S**t….Childhood? Yeah, it used to be a place that made me happy, but it isn’t the same place it used to be.

It’s a place that reminds me of my brother, actually where he spent most of his life.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish to go back to that place, but maybe that’s a piece of that place in me that will never leave, you know? The piece that makes me stupid enough to dream in the impossible, the piece that says if you believe in something enough you can have it, but maybe that place isn’t real at all and I imagined it.

Honestly, what proof do I have? I have memories that are reliable as the strength in words drawn with a stick washed away in the tide.

Now that place ruthlessly pulls tears out of my face, grabs my heart and squeezes every ounce of love out of it until my stomach is left with an unbearable emptiness, forcing my lip to tremble, forcing my hands to shake, and my voice to crack.

A place that is filled with regret, and anger because time spent their, wasn’t appreciated, not as much as it should have been anyway; So many f*****g moments just gone, so many birthday wishes wasted on bullshit.

How come nobody warned me this could happen?

So many chances to tell him I love him, I passed up on.

You know what’s crazy? Last time I saw my brother, is when my childhood went from a dream to a nightmare. Photographs of smiles, made me cry. Thought of him looking up to me because he thought I was strong, made me weak. His love brought me pain.

Pain that crumpled me up like a piece of paper, slammed my heart on the ground like a domino, and shattered me.

See when they lowered him, covering him with roses and dirt, in that moment I knew that place was never the place I thought it was.

Now I see it was just a metaphor. This entire time I thought it was a place that was so special and made everything so unbelievably great but it wasn’t, it was my brother, every single detail.

 I know because everything about him was the best, he made everything feel better, he made anything feel possible.

Even now he makes me dream, makes me believe, makes me appreciate everything in life, and the biggest reason I believe my brother is my childhood is because no matter what I do, I will never get him back again.

 Childhood is a fascinating place isn’t it?

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a very well-written & heartfelt piece of prose describing childhood in many of the familiar ways, but also in a dream-like fantasy way which isn't even close to how it was for some of us. I love the part where you realize that childhood was magic becuz of your brother, but I would've enjoyed this message even more if you could've showed us more about your brother. It seems like he's barely introduced & then he's gone. Maybe that's how it felt to you, too. Interesting juxtaposition of childhood bliss & woe.