`Rudolph The Ravenous Reindeer`

A Collaboration by Sean M. Addams and Fran Marie

 
Ravenous Rudolph

 
You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most deadly reindeer of all


Rudolph the ravenous reindeer
Had a big appetite for meat
And if he ever caught you
He would drag you away by your feet
All of the other reindeer’s flesh
Was stuck in his bloody jaws
Ravenous Rudolph waiting with an evil grin
Waiting for his orders from the legendary vampire Claus


All of the remaining reindeer
Thought Rudolph was insane
But if he overheard you talking
He would kill you and eat your brain
Some thought Rudolph was possessed
Had an evil glow of red in each eye
He could turn his head all the way around
And with an evil spell learned how to fly

 

                           ~*~

Then one dreary Christmas Eve Vampire Claus came to say
Rudolph with your demon light, I got a job for you tonight


Now all the other reindeer had to obey Rudolph's lead
Joining in, each doing Vampire Claus’s evil deeds
One by one they followed Rudolph's demon light
Killing all human victims on their merry bloody flight
Vampire Claus was waiting for the sacred blood to drink
After evil Rudolph’s venture in securing flesh to eat


Vampire Claus then told Rudolph; there's one more bloody deed to be done
Killing Mrs. Claus and her evil offspring son
Then how the North Pole would glisten in the brightest shade of red
By the hoofs of evil reindeer, trampling them until they bled dead
Festive blood fest would be the grandest treat beneath the deadly Christmas tree
Then Ravenous Rudolph and Vampire Claus would go down in history!

Author's Note

Sean and Fran turn Santa into a Vampire and Rudolph is just as Evil ^-^

Thanks Sean this was a fun collaboration and I think it turned out great!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

This is so wicked, it's wonderful! Sorry I'd not read it before now cos I'd have asked permission to copy and share it with Christmas visitors = such fun! I was singing along in places, giggling too .. (not a nice sound) but also thinking what wonderfully weird minds you both have - and unique I quickly add!

[AprilRN1210]

what dark, evil, twisted FUN this was.. great collab.. I was singing this and giggling.. nice spin on a classic that should go down in history.. pretty spooky picture to end with as well:)

[Fran Marie]

Thanks April, do very much for reviewing...so much appriciate it.

[ANTO]

But if he overheard you talking
He would kill you and eat your brain - hisssffffffff with a nice Chianti

I cant wait to show this to my 4 year old neice - brilliant

[Fran Marie]

Ha..Sean wrote the brain line...lol..thanks.. Anto

[ANTO]

...so you arent gonna stop me showing it to a four year old Fran! lolol
kidding - you're both very welcome

[Fran Marie]

Maybe when she is 24..and let Sir Anthony do the reading..thanks again for reviewing our poem.

[ANTO]

Hah! Sir Anthony - I like the sound of that - my clothes used to have a Lord Anthony label when I was a kid
you're greact craic Fran and Sean -

[Fran Marie]

Is Anto, short for Anthony? .. Anthony Hopkins with his fava beans and nice chianti..great actor..he was knighted..sir Anthony

[ANTO]

It is indeed Fran - I couldnt pronounce the 'th' sound as a kid so Anto it was - even my family call me that - unless Im in schtum when they call me Mister Anthony hah!
Gotta love Hopkins - I thought The Ramains of the Day was his best film.
Thanks Miss Fran-Marie ;p

[Lydia Shutter]

OMG...what a scary collaboration this is! Great rhyming and blending of thoughts and words. Evil and eerie for sure. The humor tickled me....which probably means I have an evil streak! LOL Good work. Lydi**

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Lydi, so very much,

[R Smith]

Hilarious Fran and Sean, what a great creation, its put Santa and Rudolph into a whole new light, I was almost singing along with the song, one of the funniest poems for a long time :)

[Fran Marie]

Many thanks, Richard;..glad you enjoyed ...

[R Smith]

your very welcome, merry christmas :)

[Fran Marie]

and a Merry Christmas,to you, Richard;

[Confuser]

This is my favorite Christmas cartoon ever! I too, have this insane wicked sense of humor. You guys had me laughing and snorting, scared the dog. My son will love this too. Thank you so much, I was singing the good song, to your "bad, bad, one" that I found myself liking so much. Very clever! Thank you.

[Fran Marie]

I like that song a lot too...thanks Dale, ever so much for reading... glad you enjoyed this one..

[Confuser]

You are a very good writer, the pleasure is all mine, & Oh, loved the sunglasses. How vogue.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Well, I have to say this one is disturbing. Demonic reindeer and vampire Claus. A great way to ruin the Christmas spirit. However, the rhyme scheme was impeccable and the imagery and flow were fantastic. Where did you get those pictures? Creepy! Great creepy write, though!

[Matching Socks]

Love it!!!
Awesome job you guys!!!

[Fran Marie]

ah ha, you found an oldie..thanks Ana..glad you enjoyed..

[Matching Socks]

Loved it. You should feature it, it's awesome and timely. :)

[Fran Marie]

Well, maybe I will ...this was a collaborative piece..a few yrs ago..I did the second half in this one..

[TL Boehm]

YIKES! but ok, it was incredibly funny!

[Valentine]

This one had me laughing..more for adults than little ones..Funny job..good work you two..Valentien