The Eleventh Hour

Inner turmoil

strikes my mind

tortured and trapped

inside out, in doubt

emotional chaos everytime

 

Bogged down,bugged up

sinking lower to the daily grind

disturbed under high pressure

disappointment compounded

leisure time unfounded

 

 

Turning, burning candles

with no wicks left

work loads, debts and bills increasing

dollar bills shrink always decreasing

worries mount never ceasing

 

 

All time to no time, mere delusions

pipe dreams, just foggy illusions

shifting gears in life

causing strife

tears,fears and confusions

 

 

Roll over Rover in this dog eat dog world

play dead, don't get ahead

ok with the KO 10 count and you're defeated

nip, pull, tug away at your dream

no 15 minutes to claim fame with life completed

the eleventh hour has arrived so it would seem

 

 

Reviews

[Devons]

A really entertaining piece of work on more than one level. The rhyming has a natural scheme to it, with no direct pattern that could lull the reader into a sense of security, and therefore able to spring surprises. Each verse uses a different technique. And sometimes rhymes take place within a single line, so the sense of poetic style is always present. There is a 'coolness' to the wordplay and turn of phrase, too, at times, which adds a further dimension...
"Roll over Rover in this dog eat dog world
play dead, don't get ahead
ok with the KO 10 count and you're defeated"
..Smart and smooth lines that exemplify this, and bear a hallmark of modern expression which also serves to vary the poem. The verse that appealed to me in particular though was the penultimate "delusions, illusions, life, strife, confusions"... an excellent example of accomplished poetic rhyme; sharp, neat, and extremely effective.
The title sets this work off very well. It's one of those phrases that means business, an evocative hook. And aside from all the technical attractions of this poem, the message and imagery within it does not go unnoticed. The futile meaning of life, work and everything. Very good indeed.

[Aziz Luther]

I love this one it's a nice poem. It almost like it's lyrics to a song but its beautiful. The rhymes and the conveyed message

[Zackery Alan Daley]

Reminds me of a kind of psychotic insomniac.

[An owl on the moon]

A timely, moving message for the day to be sure. You words express honestly the pain and anxiety of a world gone mad, inside and out... pulling me into this river of time...

[Crowley]

Deservedly the feature for sure....Nice social commentary, fast and furious write. The last stanza is wickedly good. Nice job.

[.]

I really clevery constructed poem, you bob and weave through the words keeping it energetic and punchy. really enjoyable read

[*** Hey Jude***]

Your prose never fails to inspire, encourage, and bring smiles of shared knowledge understood. Your "word play" really gives this portrait of life insight that only you can bring! Wonderful my friend ~ Jude

[Wicahpi]

Boy and how!!

I really enjoy this and know these
feelings all too well x

[.]

"work loads, debts and bills increasing
dollar bills shrink always decreasing
worries mount never ceasing"

{i love this poem...this paints a picture of life's stress very well...Awesome!!!}

james:-)

[Ruth]

This is excellent Fran, love :)
I have to say I am blown away by it! lol
Awesome use of words here :) A clever poem hon that offers everything to do with the image!
AWESOME!
XX

[Robin]

I like your style - love this word play



"Roll over Rover in this dog eat dog world

play dead, don't get ahead

ok with the KO 10 count and you're defeated"