Edge of Destiny

She grieves A lover's Death

 

 

 

I stand on the edge of  destiny

   my heart's vessel tattered and torn

Oh, what good am I ,without thee?

   'tis a sad sorrow my soul doth mourn

 

 

Haunting night winds softly speak your name

  in chilling whispers from beyond

and my mind's insynch with death's cold, cold pain

  ne'er shall I see a bright new dawn

 

 

If I cried one Ive cried a thousand tears

  and a weight breathes heavy upon my breast

Each day is mundane without you dear

  and I feel as tho~ I have nothing left

 

 

Oh that  heavens would smile 'pon thee

   and open hell's dark dreary tomb

bringing you back to life and me

   nevermore a lonely spirit to roam

 

 

'Tis this very night I feel a phantom's presence

  your hands go right thru~ me like ghosts

and walls fluidly lifting my soul

  and the scent of your manly essence,I miss the most

 

 

In the still of darkness I let go of your love words to me

   poetry verses you once wrote with desire

now scattered  to a sullen midnight breeze

   'tis now dead matter without life's fire

 

 

O' slowly,ever slowly in death's vapors I am caught

     in  loneliness and misery mine eyes at twilight weep

my life, my love, is all for naught

     for your ghostly form lives on in shadows deep

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

A gothic type love lost to death

Reviews

[...]

… this is an epic verse that echoes and echoes and echoes … the rhyme and the language take it to a whole new level of intensity and darkness … the black might of death … the feeling of being bereft … the biting pain of loss … the melancholy of desolation and misery when a paramour departs … leaving behind the haunting alleys of vacant time … this is moving and yet magical poetry at its stunning best … exceptionally well written …

… the title is sheer genius … “edge of destiny” … for it is nothing but at the edge of destiny that death awaits us … “oh what good am i without thee” … the power of simple profundity resonates … expressing loss and expressing helplessness with earnestness … “haunting night winds” … “chilling whispers” … “death’s cold, cold pain” … again express with wizardry that intensity of excruciating pain that the death of a paramour brings … leaving the one alive in the dark depths of a distressing sorrow … “a thousand tears” … “a weight breathes heavy” … “each day is mundane” … “i have nothing left” … “a lonely spirit to roam” … express the brutal blow with extreme sensitivity and isolation … “a phantom’s presence” … “your hands go through me like ghosts” … “walls fluidly lifting my soul” … capture in a bewitching and enthralling way the experience of memories in a sense that transcends the emotional … making the experience almost physical … almost real … almost surreal … “poetry verses you once wrote with desire” … “now scattered to a sullen midnight breeze” … bring to life the longing and yearning experienced … the injury of loss … the pain of permanent separation … the echo of a dry and dark solitude … “in loneliness and misery mine eyes at twilight weep” … “my life, my love is all for naught” … “for your ghostly form lives on in shadows deep” … end this magnificently operatic verse that brings to life the mammoth proportions of the million sorrows that the loss of a paramour brings … this verse is a work of art … oil on canvas … in shades of grey … dark and bleak … yet etching the eternal exactitude of epic love with remarkable skill … and intense emotion … amazingly expressive, elegant and eloquent verse …

(serah)
(editor, the fourth dimension blog)

[Summer Emswiler]

What really hit me was the stanza,

"'Tis this very night I feel a phantom's presence
your hands go right thru~ me like ghosts
and walls fluidly lifting my soul
and the scent of your manly essence,I miss the most"
Smell is such a strong memory evoker. It gave me chills just thinking about if my lover passed away that I would never smell his smell again.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

amazingly beautiful poem love this love the old language, its wonderfully written, thanks for entering this into my best piece of work competition, good luck.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Julie..so very much appreciated..always

[Justin Littlefield]

Dark verse really projects profundity, truth in emotion, and that is why it goes hand in hand with lost love. Here, you've portrayed the longing and eternal sadness for an absence, and I really feel your pain in the words you've written. It flows quite beautifully. Classical gothic sort of atmospheres are my favorite for sure

[Fran Marie]

Thanks, Justin;so vey much...glad you enjoyed;

[Thea Fuentebella]

what a timeless piece! spoken like that of an ancient tongue. AMAZING! :)

[Robin]

this dives to the depths of loss , well written and expressed ...

[.]

"In the still of darkness I let go of your love words to me
poetry verses you once wrote with desire
now scattered to a sullen midnight breeze
'tis now dead matter without life's fire"

{yeah-a Gothic mood and i love this verse-but the last stanza is supreme !!!}

...i have no clue how i didn't read this poem 'till now--
....it's a gorgeously written 'wanton lost love poem'...

..i love it...

james:-)

[revenant21]

This is an amazing poem. I like the whole gothic feel you put into it. IM sorry I got to it so late. Wonderful, my friend.

~Revenant

[emmah]

what a profound and touching dedication this is! it shatters the heart with the intensity of its grief, the depth of its desire and the soul of its love. its a love song of loss and pain and longing that speaks volumes of the rare, pure, eternal love that was shared and that burns bright in the darkness of loss. it travels the endlessness of an empty twilight as it melts into an even emptier night; a night that will, at some point, be woven into yet another hollow day. it speaks of balmy evenings that were dotted with musk scented togetherness, a quaint companionship, a closeness that echoed in a shared silence where no words were needed; it speaks of verses and songs that resonated, in the tenderness of held hands and embraces. it speaks of shadows that walk in hushed footsteps and murmur nothing into the wind.
the structure and the rhyme are stunning. but the emotion and the expression are even more exceptional. its a very intense and immensely moving verse – the grief of loss, the prayer for reunion, the emptiness of the heart – are all so stark and pure – that they leave a hole in the heart of the reader

(emmah)
(co-editor, the fourth dimension blog)

[mrityunjay]

Congratulations! This entry was awarded the THIRD POSITION in the WISH YOU WERE HERE (POETRY) CONTEST created by THE FOURTH DIMENSION BLOG (http://thefourthdimensionblog.blogspot.com/) for members of The Writers Cafe. To read other entries and reviews, please visit:
http://thefourthdimensionblog.blogspot.com/2010/05/wish-you-were-here-contest-results.html