Sweet Togetherness

 

It's a sweet togetherness
    I feel lying next to you like this
              never wanting the night to end

 
A sweet togetherness
   softly spent in love's haloed mist
        my heart, your soul, a beautiful blend

 
Sweet togetherness
    as I inhale life from your tender kiss
         wanting and waiting for you to exhale again

 
Togetherness
     is when we complete love's bliss
                              sweetly together yang and yin
 
 

Reviews

[Tony]

I liked the 4, 3, 2, 1 countdown in the first line of each stanza-- that for me gave the feeling of "togetherness" or a coming closer together work exceptionally well. That's really cool how you did that. I also enjoyed the internal cadence as well. There's alot going on here. A very enjoyable read all around. Thank you for sharing.

[barleygirl]

I just noticed you cleared out this "Love" contest . . . congrats for the clean sweep! I like this poem in its simplicity and I love the graceful sound of your word crafting. I like the way this gently describes the feelings of being together physically, "lying next to you . . . never wanting the night to end." Nicely stated longing . . . "inhale" and "exhale" . . . the most elemental feelings of being together.

[Zahra]

Interesting poem on yin and yang, thanks for entering it in my contest.

[Fran Marie]

thanks so much for reading;

[.]

"Sweet togetherness
as I inhale life from your tender kiss
wanting and waiting for you to exhale again"

{Kool--i love the images and rhyme scheme-Awesome Poem}

james:-)

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on this wonderful winning poem!

[Kelley]

this was very romantic and I loved it!
I did see one mistake I think.........?

"never wanting thie night to end"

should be.....

"never wanting the night to end"

right?

Anyway great write thanks for sharing.
Kelley

[An owl on the moon]

So beautifully moving and vivid, powerfully conveying the depth of true love as it weaves together two lives. Wonderful to read!

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I like the way you wrote this great poem

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A sweet togetherness
softly spent in love's haloed mist
my heart, your soul, a beautiful blend


Mercy me that was so delicate and passionate... a breathtaking piece of writing.