Season's Leave

DIMINISHED HEXAVERSE ~Contest Write~

 

Winter whips the air
still cold winds whisper
with icy deceit
before taking leave
in one month to spring
 
Spring appears fresh
painting scenes bright
renewing life
green for summer
 
Summer sun's
golden orb
spins to fall
 
Autumn
sheds her
 
Leaves

Reviews

[Spoken]

Fran, this is so refreshing and one that will stand out as a favorite in my mind. I love the full circle effect, you transition beautifully to each season and the way you describe them is unique and clever.

Winter whips the air
still cold winds whisper
with icy deceit
before taking leave
in one month to spring

I love the description of the air. In the winter usually it's the wind that can really make it unbaribly cold and it can be "deceitful" in the way it seems calm when you first walk outside and then BAM the wind "whips", as stated, and can be a shockingly cold.... before taking leave in one month to spring... "taking leave" a beautiful seemless transition into spring. It gives life to the season in adding that verbige

I like how you described the sun as a "golden orb" not sure i have ever heard it described in those words and it is quit a perfect description. This is exquisite craftmanship and you make it appear so easy. Bravo!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your amazing winning poem

[Helena]

Gorgeous write Fran. Thank you for submitting this to
Sal's contest! ~ Helena

[Seantesunflower]

I love how you incorporated all of the seasons and explained them so precise
I cant wait for spring!!!

[Mark]

Clever construction: As the winter ebbs, so too does each line, each stanza,
and eventually each word grow progressively shorter; NIFTY!

[passion]

reminiscent of robert frost...i like this, fran. reminds me of nothing gold can stay...well done

[Alaska Frost]

Amazing poem. If it hadn't been for Tom Benson's review below, I would have never realized the syllable count. Beautiful imagery and very crafty work!!!
-Alaska

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A breathtaking look at the wonder seasons and how different but beautiful each one is. Love it.

[Tom Benson]

Very clever Fran Marie. Okay, I admit I read it twice before I went back and did a syllable count. Tom

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Another amazing write from Fran Marie's pen. Well done!