In Spirit of The Holiday Season

 

Oh,joy to the world
I haven't seen a fruitcake
yet this year.
 
I still have nightmares
from last Christmas eve
from the one I received
yes, oh, my
 it brought me to tears
 
It came by way of mail
It was quite heavy and ugly
 and most definitely Stale!
 
So in spirit of the holiday season
being the nice vicious person I am
I gave it to my neighbors next door
now, gee wilkers whiz!
I don't understand
why they won't talk to me anymore?
 
I suppose it was the fruitcake,yep
they will turn your friends into foes
Why, what they're good for?
No one knows!
 
With all that goop spread
right on top
and filled with stuff
to make your heart stop
 
Oozing running down the side
to make you sick
Heavy enough I surmise
to sink a ship!
 
Maybe just maybe
one day, and gosh i hope soon,
we'll send that gawd-awful fruitcake
to the other side the moon
 
and by some magical power unclear
for the benefit of all mankind here
we'll make that dreadful fruitcake
 forever disappear
 
 

Reviews

[Aspiring Angel]

LOL Fran. I think that Fruit Cake tops my list of yucky. ROTFL I keep thinking that there has to be people that actually do like them or they would not be a traditional holiday goodie, but for the life of me I can't figure out what they like about them. Great write and a wonderful kick off to our holiday season.

I am sorry I have not dropped in before now but 'life' ya know? LOL

Hugs,
Lesa

[Lyn Anderson]

This is awesome. Yeah, I think if we gave the aliens fruitcake they would vaporize us on purpose.

[Fran Marie]

Hahaha..yep, they probably would.. we'd be gone in a heartbeat..thanks K.L.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Fruitcake can make for many great things, like a weapon or a paperweight, but it should come with a label, not for consumption.

[Fran Marie]

Lol..yeah I agree, they should be labeled for sure..thanks Dale,

[Louise Winter]

This poem is very good! Well done!
And eugh, fruitcake! Disgusting! So glad I haven't seen any yet! :D

[MuSe Ampoule]

Oh, ROTFL...Oh my god...I just got a full belly laugh from this one...so damned funny!!! You crack me up FM!!

[Michael of Gilead]

They make excellent door stops

[Victoria Chang]

Very excellent piece of writitng! My aunt once did that, the cake came back to her twice!

[Truman S. Booth]

Very funny! The oxymoron "nice vicious person I am" cracked me up, and the innocence of wondering why the neighbors don't like you when you clearly understand the awfulness of fruitcake. Well written, a great criticism of a terrible Christmas tradition.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

BWAHAHHHAHHAHHA!~ snarky done with style and flair~!!!!~
hope you entered this in Robin's Helliday contest!~

[Sean M. Addams]

very funny and cute piece ..i like this alot ...i'm not a fan of the taste of fruit cake either ..guess it's the out cast of desserts :)

[Marie Harrison]

Ha! This is hysterical. Loved the photo too. I have to admit, I do hate fruitcake. I wonder how it remains so popular. Who is eating all of this fruitcake. Only if I was desperate for something to eat. But only with a frown on my face.