VAMPiRES

 

Pale eyes hang on blue faces
   with traces of blood
         they fly in midnight dim
              gaunt faces, which haunt
                               with a devilish grin

 
 Something's amiss
          with their bulging eyes so pale
                     a cried hatred,seldom seen
                                 from within

 

 Oh, they hunger
          beneath their blue vail
                spreading evil
                            they wail in sin

 
Roaming the earth
         their presence means death
                       their power is poison
                              upon parlous stale breath

  
They come thru~night's mist
          amid a thunder storm's rain
               to covet your soul
                        they bare no shame
                               they take control
                                   'tis their deadly game

 
 Beware!
  Do you understand?
              they may come for you,

 

 

     Be Wise!
           Pale eyes on blue faces 
               'tis only a disguise
                     behind lies, fiery red eyes
                                   not at all pale blue

 
 
These blue face flyers
       are ghostly white
           yet,with souls blacker than
                             black,to haunt and fright

 

So beware~the vampires
                   flying at night!
 

 

Reviews

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

O.o This is a good poem, especially for the contest. At first i was wondering what creatures is she talking about. I notice many people have different ideas about what vampires looked like, i liked yours. I liked how there were all these descriptions and then when i figured out what the creature was...i re-read the poem and thought, "Yea...that makes perfect sense." Good Job.

Danni

[Brianna Brie]

Brilliance shining through the darkness...excellent write. You even had me go back and break it apart to figure out why it works so well. Poetic brilliance!

[With Each Raindrop Come..]

Omg that sent shivers down my spine! especially whenever I first clicked on it and that picture came up, but when I read it I actually got scared!

FINALIST!

[Forest Green]

A fair-minded warning...;)

Moving within the shadows...the fiery eyes await.

Nice work...very compelling revelation of the dangerous spirits lurking on the night of the hallowed moon.

Daniel

[.:Naiira Harlow:.]

I like the picture and the poem is deliciously scary. Keep up the good work!
-Twilight

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Ooh, this is a fantastic poem. The rhyme and flow is just amazing. I totally love this, awesome write!!!

Heather

[Mark D. Chevalier]

Nice and spooky Fran. I liked the way the tension was built up and I kept asking myself, "So what is this monster?" Until the end when you said it was the vampires.
A really neat poem, and well versed.
Mark