Universal Plan

 

Atmosphere~ an universal cosmos array
harmonious heavenly bodies
of cosmic force at play
with stars skipping silver dancesteps
'round the milky way

 

Destiny's design, a bright lunar sight
aligned with Venus,so fair
in unison, a magic moon winks bright
amid a midnight sky and velvet breeze,
casting moonbeams 'pon~earth's lofty trees~
our spirit takes flight~ transcending reality

 

A vast welkin sphere of cosmic delight
whence and where it came forth
spinning , spinning, ever spinning
each day into dark night

 

 

 I dwell in deep thoughts

beneath the sycamore tree

thinking to myself, my path of destiny

realizing,I am a child of this universe

no more, no less than the sun,moon and stars above

a part of the universe and all its love

 

A being, an essence steering a dynamic course

attached to destiny's path of men

a spirit of mysterious force

I am of this plan~ a child of the universe

I can only try to comprehend

 

 

 

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Fran,

This is a lovely piece. You capture the cosmic perspective of how tiny we are in the universe, and yet we are equals to the stars in belonging all to the same plan. A very nice insight and well executed.

The word "Atmosphere" at the beginning has me puzzled at bit, I must confess, as I don't see how that applies to the words immediately following. Also "transcending reality" caused a bit of trouble for me since the whole piece seemed otherwise to be reveling in reality. So "becoming lost in reality" or "consumed by the wonder of reality" or something to that effect seems a better choice to me.

I have to say that "A vast welkin sphere of cosmic delight" is simply brilliant! Well done. The whole third stanza is excellent, probably the strongest in the poem.

Best regards,

Rick

[Inject Positivity]

A very interesting write, and very true... You have captured the whole essence of this universe so very well and I really love what you have said comparing us with the Stars and all the cosmic things of this universe... We are all invaluable part of this universe and we all have same worth here and without us the whole system can't be completed... "a child of this universe", yes we are... Thank you submitting your priceless poem on my contest frnd...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Dillon "Gerald" Steele]

This poem is like no other poem i have read, it was philosophical an it required a lot of thinking but it also flowed very smoothly throughout the poem. It Had a great overall theme to it and used a lot of great vocabulary, fantastic job!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks,Dillon, I so Appriciated the reviews on my poetry;

[Constance Payne]

The attempt to comprehend all that is life is a wonderful adventure. I like this very much, well written.

[Fran Marie]

thanks for commenting on my poetry;

[Willowtree]

What a huge amazing universe we live in! Your poem paints a beautiful picture of the universe! It's so beautifully written, the words flow perfectly. I love your descriptions and ..everything..!:D

"I am of this plan ~ a child of the universe
I can only try to comprehend"

this says it all. I love this :) great job

[Emily B]

Wow! It seems to me that this is a far cry from the work of yours that I used to read. So deep and peaceful with whispers of the Universe. . . . so lovely.

[Gandré]

this was wonderful metaphysical poem full of aware moments and perfect "i am a part of this universe"-feeling. thank you for submitting it to my contest.

[DanaRegen]

This is a beautiful poem great job. Also thanks for entering it in my contest, and good luck!
-Dana :)

[angelina neves]

"amid a midnight sky and velvet breeze,
casting moonbeams 'pon~earth's lofty trees~
our spirit takes flight~ transcending reality"
- soooooooooooooooo beautiful!

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Hi Fran, this is a lovely piece, how vast is the universe that we are so mall in comparision.

As usual your words are well writtena and flows smoothly.

[Adrian K. Smith]

I disagree on what is being said about our significance. This disagreement is not based on any religious thought, as I do not truck much in such. It is in the belief that through sheer observation we affect that which we observe. It is in the belief that thoughts have motion. We think some pretty nifty and some pretty wicked things. There can be no insignificance to that...

I actually feel this piece reinforces that. Reaching up, describing those "heavenly" bodies, and bringing them down to Earth beneath a sycamore tree... not a very insignificant thing to do in my opinion.