`empty sensations`

Sonnet

 

In the sleeping night sleepless souls do roam
lost souls of loneliness  in purple haze
seeking a magic potion all their own
secret remedies to secure this daze

 

Amid darken shadows searching for thrills
making dull life seem a grand paradise
with empty sensations of drugs and pills
filling falsely the sad void felt inside

 

Sudden euphoria soothes pain awhile
numbing dead the soul in stale vapors caught
yet thrills never last and lost is heart's smile
sadness remains as their companion wrought
 
Still sleepless souls roam, in the sleeping night
dancing with demons~away from the light

Reviews

[Susan S.]

Fran, I feel a little like the moon eyed chippies who follow rock stars. Your poetry is consistently able to pull me in. This one uses the sibilant to give a slightly sinister slant to a sad story. Using the complexity of the words juxtaposed with the lack of punctuation effectively slows the read down enough that that effect seeps in, too. You end up with such a dream quality that the subject matter can be presented with no harshness in it.

Thanks for a most entertaining and illuminating read.
Susan S

[emmajoy]

Read this twice... inhaled, sighed, then, read again.

This really is beautiful, sad, mystic almost.. You've written in such a fine way, a real poem, with meter and all. Technically it's perfect plus, you've created a feel and a place.

Thank you so much for sharing.

[The Mad Prophet]

Very creative, very deep. Well writen, and well expressed. You have seemed to suffer emptiness different then I do, but I am sure there are many other forms of this feeling. You have shine light on one I did not notice, although have heard of. Very well done.

[JohnL]

It is good to see the formalised sonnet form used with this subject matter. So often poetry is written in a manner or style which suggests the drug's effects have yet to vacate the writer, but this is an ordered, analyzed inditement of drug misuse in plain language which really lays bare the misery it causes. It is full of atmosphere and the picture's purple is the right colour with which to re-inforce graphically the words you have so well put together.
I have one discomfort with the writing; in line 1, 'do' seems to have been inserted for reasons of metre more than necessity. I would suggest perhapsthe required syllable would be better placed before 'sleeping'. Say 'dark, long or deep' or something. This is only my reading dnd meant as a point to think about. It is a fine sonnet.
John.

[Michael]

Nicely done. It can be hard to get the meter to flow this well. Most I read are "clunky" when it comes to that. Yours is anything but! I do have a question about the 'd' rhyme is stanza two, it is more an eye rhyme than a lyrical rhyme. Was this your intent?

[Mr. Lopez]

This is a beautiful sonnet of the saddened souls who seek love in empmty arms . To many, the misconception of true love will lead them down a dark and lonely road. Very nice !!

Mr. Lopez