Lost Love

Monotetra Form

Her charm faded surfaced to float
to distant shores he sailed his boat
her depth of joy now felt remote
her heart he smote, her heart he smote

waves wore her pain as blue eyes cried
he disappeared beneath sad sky
dissolved lost love, she wondered why
she wished to die she wished to die


deep deep down her sad spirit bent
she felt forlorn with no relent
no purpose life held since he went
a lost love spent a lost love spent

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Oh, how much this reminds me of Message in a Bottle----

but sooner or later that bottle may come to her with a message saying he will love her through eternity.
really love this piece, Fran....it has that "Cast your fate to the wind" feel of romanticism.
j.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you jacob for
the lovely review ..much appreciated🌷

[Pete]

this has so much going for it.- repetitive rhyme, emotive along with the perfect pic. what's not to like .

mercy me - "waves wore her pain as blue eyes cried" ... :)

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Pete for reading
and the kind review
glad you enjoyed

[M.E.Lyle]

True love lost hurts so terribly much. The ache in your heart seems unbearable and you wonder if life is still worth living. It is, of course, but still you wonder when the pain will leave. Time, as it has a habit of doing, eventually cures most of the ills of lost loves. What remains is wisdom.
A wonderful write and reminder of what it felt like so many years ago.
Thanks.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you so much
I appreciate the kind review

[willweb]

A beautifully crafted piece of poetic art. This was wonderfully written and just felt good to read.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you for the
Kind review

[AYVID N]

Hello Fran,

This is such a beautiful poem to read on a lost love. The repetitive lines gave each verse a haunting echo, a surreal feel. Your word choice and rhyming make the poem flow with ease and grace. Thank you for sharing this beauty of words with me. Thank you, also, for introducing me to this amazing poetry form.

My compliments on the chosen artwork too. It's so pretty!

[Fran Marie]

Thank you Divya
I so appreciate your
kind review. 🌹

[Kelly Scheppers]

I adore the repetition here. It makes for quite a beautiful read, so eloquently done. I can hear the ocean roar, almost feel the rush of the wind under her skirt. And her heart...breaking.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you Kelly
much appreciated 🌷

[Euphoric bibliophile]

pretty good! the rhymes are cool

[Ken Simm.]

Lovely song structure and easy flow like the sea waves on this sensitive love poem.

[Fran Marie]

Thank you Ken
for the kind review
much appreciated 🌷

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The repetition sort of works for the subject matter giving it flesh and emphasis in a manic depressive way. It's like the muttering of a lost mind driven to the brink of despair. Sad but believable.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Fabian..repetition
is called for in this form
its a Monotetra form write
I appreciate the review

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm aware. I was merely observing that the chosen form represents the subject matter which is a good thing; such as senryu are meant to depict human foibles or satire.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The despair and desolation of this poem is heartbreakingly beautiful. The waves of sadness wash over, and I am drowning in her tears. Beautiful!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Linda
so much appreciated

[Mauricio Montoya]

Love how you brought this write together great flow

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Mauricio for
reading ..glad you enjoyed