Ice

Ya Du form

oh winter nights
casting lights dim
chill bites the air
blinding glare snows
rage there as bitter wind blows

tall pine trees bow
upright; now bent
down boughs, with ice
on un-nice ground
harsh slice of winter profound

soon spring shall come
when you're done~and
you've run your course
no remorse lent
your coarse, farewell winter spent

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Goodness, Fran Dearest! 🌾

This is one of (if not the) most beautifully rendered Yadu I've yet had the pleasure of enjoying, including my own renditions.😏
In spot-on line counts and rhyme scheme, you've taken poetic syntax, vivid metaphor, the emotional timbre of the season, and unique word-choices, combining them all with your creative poetic voice to create this wonderfully enjoyable piece for our sheer enjoyment. Also, your choice of 7-syllables sings best with the 4-syllable counts of each stanza, far better than 5, 9, or 11, and sets it apart as an aptly interesting finale.
"Farewell, Winter spent", indeed, but soon enough we'll be embraced again by icy arms, like that perfect icebound picture … brrr!

Splendidly done, Poetess … I dearly love reading such well written and presented metered poetry so few today are skilled enough to compose.
Kudos, Dear Lady Fran Marie! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Fran Marie]

Dearest Richard
Thank you so much
for the grand review
and the kind encouraging
words on this poem
such a great review
coming from you good
Sir means a lot to me ..

[Chris Shaw]

What an unusual form. Never heard of it before Fran. Studied your poem to ascertain when and where the rhyme falls. Doesn't look easy. I would imagine this poem took time to compose. I know the winter weather has been severe on your side of the pond, with much dumping of snow. It has been bitterly cold here, but so far only one day of snow which melted quickly. You appear to be in the grip of cold at the moment. Never fear, spring is just round the corner. I am keeping my fingers crossed :)


Chris

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Chris
yes, it did take
time to write
this one, some
form poems can be
time consuming
I too will be glad
to see spring
it's been a cold
February for sure;
I appreciate your review;

[John the Baptist]

Apparently much of the US is experiencing conditions much like the images described in this offering. I would say this makes me glad to be a grit, but the south is getting it as bad as the rest.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks John
a lot of people
are without power
especially Texas
during this ice storm
I s o appreciate your
review;

[AJNJ]

So beautifully written.....loved it!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks A J
s o very much;

[Coyote Poetry]

I am waiting dear Fran.
"soon spring shall come
when you're done~and
you've run your course
no remorse lent
your coarse, farewell winter spent"
The groundhog told Michigan. Six more weeks. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Fran Marie]

Thanks John
That lil' rascal
groundhog is
right again
It's snowing
again today
in kentucky;
I appreciate
your kind words;

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right dear Fran. Winter holding on in Michigan too. You are welcome my dear friend.

[J Todd Underhill]

I love this piece, I have been a fan for a while, but just never get a chance to drop in here at WC found some time today, and I am glad I did. Keep writing and keep warm!

[Fran Marie]

Thanks J Todd
so very much
I'm glad for
your visit and
s o appreciate your
kind words ;

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Fantastib Fran. nice to see someone descrybe the beauty of a winter storm.

[Fran Marie]

Thanks Dale
s o very much
for stopping by
I appreciate your
review;

[Einstein Noodle]

the polar vortex has hit and spins a brutal cold ..in 1905 NE Arkansas recorded the all time low temp of -29 degrees. My thermometer yesterday was 8 degrees in the wee hours and didn't raise to more that 12. Its very unusual for the area to be so cold. Yesterday evening we even had snow accumulating to about 2" and is still here this morning. I always think of Winter as a time of sleep .. a time of "man in the lodge" .. the quiet slumber of promise and new life ... but this is killer .. a friend in SD told me it was -40 with the wind chill ... my favorite line in your poem is "on un-nice ground" .. i love the license you take with the language there ;) vivid description ... I can see how jacob takes it as the pandemic .. also brutal and wearying for all :(
E.
ps. i never heard of the Ya-du form! what a demanding form it is ... the rhyme scheme spins me nog just reading what it is .. brave soul, Fran, for rising to the challenge

[Fran Marie]

Thanks E 😊
yes it's been
very cold
in kentucky last
night 16 degrees
here with more snow
and the ice is still
here from 3 days ago

yea, the ya du form
is rather complicated
at that ..its based on
getting the right rhyme
on different syllables
in different lines..
it's confusing to
write it took me
a while to get it
right lol

[Einstein Noodle]

i bet it did ... i did a pantoum for a class and it was a rewriting nightmare ... ;)

[Fran Marie]

Ahh yes the Pentium; i done those also another confusing form

[Einstein Noodle]

i think so too ... but rewarding in the end i think. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I can't help but relate this to the pandemic...being sheltered in place, snowed in, diseased in,
flakes falling but social distancing....and spring is the vaccine that will reverse this and bring us warmth and togetherness.
j.

[Fran Marie]

yes it does seem
to run a parallel
to the pandemic
an Ice-solation of
sorts encased in
frozen inactivity
I feel that tree outside
my window is mocking
how I feel
Thanks dearJacob
I so appreciate
your words;