Beneath the clouds I lie in dreamy peace birds sing summer's lullabies high in trees this July day breathes a warm subtle breeze and the world's still here in balanced degrees some children play on swings, 'neath July's sky some run thru~grass,puppies nipping their shoes and marshmallow clouds so slowly float by if perhaps I'm dreaming, 'tis what I choose Yes!, call me a dreamer 'adrift on clouds let me have all the dreams which I'm allowed July in the park, such delight lies where dreams of a dreamer can't be denied
'Tis a dreamland beneath the clouds I lie and a delicate breeze whispers no lies
It is a captivating photograph to begin with...one that makes you feel "Hey, I wanna be there"...As far as structure goes, there are metrical imperfections, but I have come to give them a secondary importance as compared to the poem's flow, in spite of having written structured verse for the most part myself.
The poem gives me an overall feel of peace, which is very important, because it strengthens the poem's association with the photograph and more importantly, carries the reader straight to the "park" which you have portrayed. M favorite line in the poem, was
"if perhaps i'm dreaming, 'tis what I choose"
There is a very classic feel to the poem, mostly because of the choice of structure and what can now be called 'archaic' phrases. Quite reminiscent of the romantics...
All in all, it leaves the reader quite satisfied. Thanks!
such a warm, frolicking month. count me in. i'm there. what summer was meant to be. i go to the park everyday and live this. i feel and appreciate every bit of this.
soothing, comforting and delicious -
some run thru~grass,puppies nipping their shoes
and marshmallow clouds so slowly float by
you really nailed it. ah, terrific ... :)
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
thanks Pete.me too
I love going to the park
it's so relaxing;
There is something truly melodic and peaceful about laying down and watching the clouds take shape and float by changing yet again. With a warm July breeze to kiss the skin.
What an peaceful and relaxing moment and the imagery is calming and beautiful
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Thanks PB.
love going to park
on a nice day
it's been a rainy June
and i.. read moreThanks PB.
love going to park
on a nice day
it's been a rainy June
and it's pouring down
today.
3 Years Ago
We’ve finally had a break in the rain and the sun is out.
It's a photo like this that can really inspire you. Nature is the best muse, and the long lazy days of summer accommodate us with an extra hour of light in the evening. I love all the elements you brought to light here - the children playing on swings, puppies running through the grass, and my favorite of all - the marshmallow clouds. Makes me hungry for roasted marshmallows!
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Thanks Kelly..ever so much appreciate your reviews on my poetry..
'.. let me have all the dreams which I'm allowed .. July in the park.. '
Such gently laid words, a warm welcoming arms-open to join you: come dream in the all around.. feel self alive but calm, at one with conceivable emotion. Run through, lie pon grass, look up into the blue.. life is at its best. July at its best.. wonderful.
Posted 5 Years Ago
5 Years Ago
Thanks Emma so vey much..I so appreciate your kind comments on my poetry
I totally agree with Augustus here, that the primary theme of this poem, peace, is beautifully brought out. There are few things more relaxing than spending a summer's evening in the park and reading poetry such as this!
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Thanks, Abdul, so vey much for dropping by to read my poetry.
I so appriciat it.....
Very calm and breezy - plus my birthday is in July! I especially love the line "Yes! call me a dreamer 'adrift on clouds" it evokes whimsical, light-hearted imagery.