^ STATIC ^

A Collaboration Write~By Fran Marie and A.J. Smith

 

                              Static    
   
Static blared from the radio as we fought that night.
He had ragged me out with raw words
as bitter as acid rain
and the room grew darker with each hurtful word.

My God, what happened to us, to me, that night?
I wounded her with poisonous words
From where did they come?
I could see the pain I inflicted reflected in her eyes

I had no idea why we were fighting, yet again.
I've always given him free range in our marriage.
Perhaps for some reason I just didn't understand.
 
Where once we sought understanding with respect
we now diverged along our separate, lonely paths
our souls no longer in tune, lost in white noise

Nevertheless, I clung to the remote chance that
one day we just might get it right
and refresh our relationship, just for the
record and rub out this constant static

I long for our wavelengths to connect once again
returning to our sweet harmony
But I have lost my way,withdrawing farther
in distance from her and the stillness
between us is disconcerting

yet here we sit opposite one another
in silence so deafening, hammering at my heart
If only he would open up to me
share his emotional solitude ~telling me
his thoughts, his fears doesn't he know
I would understand and comfort him
 
 
The volume fades on us
and I am not sure
we can retrieve what has ebbed away
leaving us together
yet so alone

Has our  love died?
I fear it has and all
that remains are tattered torn hearts
with remnant silhouettes
 of two tarnished souls

Author's Note

Fran's Stanzas are 1,3,5,7,9
A.J.'s Stanzas are 2.4.6.8

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

You guys did a wonderful job on this. It is such a vivid picture your words paint. I really enjoy this and wish you tons of luck with the contest. I always love to see two writers come together so flowingly and to create art such as this.


Great Job!!!!!!

[J. Hampton]

Really well done collab...
touches base with the sting of what we can't...take back and the burdon of what went untabled. Love the pic...

Might I make a suggestion that you change the font and or color of the text
ie : bold italic...to clarify the dialog

nice write

Blessssssssssss

[Papillion]

A wonderful collaberation. Great job you guy's :)

[Kristin Brecoe]

That was very cool. I liked the idea and the word choice. The word choice was wonderful!

-kristin

[TL Boehm]

gritty resonant depiction of the tearing away of love, when two fight...well done to both of you.

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, you both did such a wonderful job on this piece.

jkb

[All faded blue]

This never ceases to impress me, the way you are able to team up with another writer and pull this together. It is amazing.

[Just Manoosh]

I really loved and appreciated this piece, though from different sides this poem really does read like one. A clear cut powerful message that we can all understand. Excellent! Mx

[L.G. Knight]

Another wonderful team up!

Sometimes mariages have silently deadly endings and sometimes as it the case of his unfortunate couple it screams all too loudly in its silence of the coming end...

I loved it!

~Frances~

[PhoeniX]

what a sad tale. does the love truly die in such a matter? no whim, or hear of each others words and feelings. well written.

[Nicholas Hallows]

Well done. You really get the sense of the two different voices here as they decipher the static in their relationship. NH