^ STATIC ^

A Collaboration Write~By Fran Marie and A.J. Smith

 

                              Static    
   
Static blared from the radio as we fought that night.
He had ragged me out with raw words
as bitter as acid rain
and the room grew darker with each hurtful word.

My God, what happened to us, to me, that night?
I wounded her with poisonous words
From where did they come?
I could see the pain I inflicted reflected in her eyes

I had no idea why we were fighting, yet again.
I've always given him free range in our marriage.
Perhaps for some reason I just didn't understand.
 
Where once we sought understanding with respect
we now diverged along our separate, lonely paths
our souls no longer in tune, lost in white noise

Nevertheless, I clung to the remote chance that
one day we just might get it right
and refresh our relationship, just for the
record and rub out this constant static

I long for our wavelengths to connect once again
returning to our sweet harmony
But I have lost my way,withdrawing farther
in distance from her and the stillness
between us is disconcerting

yet here we sit opposite one another
in silence so deafening, hammering at my heart
If only he would open up to me
share his emotional solitude ~telling me
his thoughts, his fears doesn't he know
I would understand and comfort him
 
 
The volume fades on us
and I am not sure
we can retrieve what has ebbed away
leaving us together
yet so alone

Has our  love died?
I fear it has and all
that remains are tattered torn hearts
with remnant silhouettes
 of two tarnished souls

Author's Note

Fran's Stanzas are 1,3,5,7,9
A.J.'s Stanzas are 2.4.6.8

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

You guys did a wonderful job on this. It is such a vivid picture your words paint. I really enjoy this and wish you tons of luck with the contest. I always love to see two writers come together so flowingly and to create art such as this.


Great Job!!!!!!

[Spoken]

Sometimes we end up saying things that don't reflect how we feel or aren't really what we want to say.. almost like we forget how to communicate correctly, instead of being direct we become indirect making it impossible to understand one another. This is filled with strong emotion that all can relate to.. great piece

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A beautiful work of art. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[[untitled]]

I like this immensely. Nice collaboration. This line: "The volume fades on us," is exceptional.

[julian3]

Painful powerful hard hitting and ultimately tragic. The collaboration flows as smoothly as an icy mountain stream, seamless and perfectly executed - the point and counterpoint exchange is superbly done.

[V. K. Harris]

You two did very well writing this excellent work of broken love.

[Susan S.]

Beautiful Fran, AJ. It makes me want to philosophize. I'll try to refrain! LOL My take on this is that any poem that can evoke such response--visceral and cognitive--is a true winner.

[[untitled]]

You write so well together. Its good. I like that the stanzas have that pattern. You hear both sides and I thought you meshed well. Good work

[Joseph - Michael]

All I can say is that you two wrote it together so well. Sound like the divorce is on the way?

Anyway, it's a really great writing, so no worries...

[[untitled]]

I think this poem is wonderful! I could feel the emotions as I read each line. I have to say I didn't have one line as a favorite! I loved them all. This was well written. It flowed perfectly.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

fantastic collaboration - love it
you two are doing wonderful work together - i do hope that you will continue this -