^ STATIC ^

A Collaboration Write~By Fran Marie and A.J. Smith

 

                              Static    
   
Static blared from the radio as we fought that night.
He had ragged me out with raw words
as bitter as acid rain
and the room grew darker with each hurtful word.

My God, what happened to us, to me, that night?
I wounded her with poisonous words
From where did they come?
I could see the pain I inflicted reflected in her eyes

I had no idea why we were fighting, yet again.
I've always given him free range in our marriage.
Perhaps for some reason I just didn't understand.
 
Where once we sought understanding with respect
we now diverged along our separate, lonely paths
our souls no longer in tune, lost in white noise

Nevertheless, I clung to the remote chance that
one day we just might get it right
and refresh our relationship, just for the
record and rub out this constant static

I long for our wavelengths to connect once again
returning to our sweet harmony
But I have lost my way,withdrawing farther
in distance from her and the stillness
between us is disconcerting

yet here we sit opposite one another
in silence so deafening, hammering at my heart
If only he would open up to me
share his emotional solitude ~telling me
his thoughts, his fears doesn't he know
I would understand and comfort him
 
 
The volume fades on us
and I am not sure
we can retrieve what has ebbed away
leaving us together
yet so alone

Has our  love died?
I fear it has and all
that remains are tattered torn hearts
with remnant silhouettes
 of two tarnished souls

Author's Note

Fran's Stanzas are 1,3,5,7,9
A.J.'s Stanzas are 2.4.6.8

Reviews

[Robert Luna]

You guys did a wonderful job on this. It is such a vivid picture your words paint. I really enjoy this and wish you tons of luck with the contest. I always love to see two writers come together so flowingly and to create art such as this.


Great Job!!!!!!

[Valentine]

A very nice together write..and so true how couples forget how to correspond with each other or let pride stop them from conversing and a love that could so easily be saved is lost..Good luck on the contest..God bless...Valentine

[THE BLACK SEAL]

this was a nice effort by both parties i applaud you in pulling it off with the flow that you did

[Legion]

Great work together. Such a saddened piece.

[A.J. Smith]

Fran, it is always an absolute pleasure collaborating with you...we seem so in synch. I will never turn down an offer to dance the dance of words with you. For everyone else, for the record, I don't think I'm the guy in the poem, at least I sure aspire not to be, I'm just playing him here! :)

[Dani California]

Ooooh...this one touches the core of anyone in or who has been in a relationship gone bad. Wow. Emotional... and beautifully written! Great contrast, nice flow....

All in all an impressive piece of work! Bravo!

[Sheila M]

Well done. You both collaborated very well. I like the view points.

[Michael]

That is one poem that I think needs to be entered into just about every contest across the states. It is very very good. However reminds me of all the fights I had with my ex-wife, but most of those fights was because I would come home and there would be another man in my bed. But I have a new wife now, a good wife, So I can't complain.

[forfila]

A great collaboration you two, very in sync, sad but fitting to the pic, well done

Love
Me

[J.P. Bristow]

I love collaborative pieces.......interesting write and appropriate picture.